Every once in a while, I'll check out the IMDB message boards and I generally find rewarding reading. Anyway, here's one of my all-time favorite message board comments, a guy who was inspired to share a movie treatment he thought of:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0328962/...2&p=1#70224422
When I'm home sick and bored, you guys reap the rewards!
Well, now we know what Orny Adams has been up to.
"retarted"
Well, he's clearly got the necessary spelling and grammar chops to be a screenwriter. And what I really like about it is that this general narrative arc has basically NEVER been done before.
I enjoyed the Scooby Doo-esque revelation of George Carlin in the end. I pictured the main character doing a double take (With the necessary sound effect for optimum comedy) as he realized who the "gary haired man" was.
-Nick
PHILADELPHIASAURUS SOLD SEPARATELY
Countdown to Millions: My Journey Towards Becoming a Millionaire
My YouTube Account...one of these days I'll make more videos
...and that treatment became Judd Apatow's "Funny People."
Gary is the best hair color.Originally Posted by NFox
Can someone just post the logline please... that's too much reading for a Sunday.
I'm only halfway through so far but oh man I hope Andy Williams can redeem himslef!
edit: I couldn't believe it when George Carlin revelved himlef!!!
The world is a crowd; the crowd cheers, in approval.
They realize that they could it, too...
Hasn't this guy seen Big Fat Liar. Some producer is gonna read that, make his movie, and not give him any credit.
Leave it on IMDb, please. Aim up, not down. Please.
"A seemingly bad comedian succeeds without hard work, through what can only be described as a mixture of magic and convenient plot holes.
...also George Carlin."
Having written that, the comedic hack inside me wants to retitle this concept "The Dane Cook Story."
-Nick
PHILADELPHIASAURUS SOLD SEPARATELY
Countdown to Millions: My Journey Towards Becoming a Millionaire
My YouTube Account...one of these days I'll make more videos
Thats exactly what I thought!
SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! Kid, we are GOING PLACES!!!!!!!!
Now all we need is someone who can convincingly play Dane Cook as well as carry the lead in a major motion picture. I'm already stumped.
So, Jim Carrey it is. Let's talk sequel.
You guys need to stop being jerks. Support creativity, don't stifle it.
Here's my rewrite:
ok, my film is about a young man named Neil Hamburger (i made up the name based on my two favorite comedians of all time: Neil Williams and Hamburger Kaufman) who wants to be a comedian in the worst way. the film starts out with him as a 12 year old boy watching stand-up comedy of his favorite comedian George Carlin, with his father. Neil Hamburger hen tells his dad that he wants to be just like that guy. his father replies by saying "well, if you et your mind to it, you could it." Neil Hamburger then says to himself "I will." we now see Neil Hamburger at school, where he doesn't fit in that well, so he tries to makeup for itby trying to be funny. so what he does during school at this point is say random stuff that he thinks is funny when they're not. this causes kids to make fun of him, tell him he's "retarted" and that he's not funny and never will be. this saddens Neil Hamburger very much. we now flash foward to the future where Neil Hamburger is a young man around maybe 20 or 21 he's at a comedy club where we see him on stage oing an act and once agin he's failing badly on stage, the crowd is throwing stuff at him, he's trying to reedem himslef, but is having no success, so finally the curtin shuts down on him and the crowd cheers. Neil Hamburger is furious and he goes home, where he still lives with his parents. His mother is being sympthoic about his failing comedic dreams, but his father is not. his father tells him to give up, it's never gonna happen, etc. At this point Neil Hamburger yells at his father telling him "you'll see." and with that h storms back into his room, where he'swatching more of his favorite comic, George Carlin. as he's watching he all of the sudden gets an idea for his stand-up, suddenly he's at his desk writing an act, he knows will be brilliant. so, the next day he goes back to the comedy club, and talks the club manager to lt go on stage that night, the club manager is sekeptical aboutt, but lets him do it anyway. so, the later that night he tires to go on stage, but as the crowd sees him they start to boo really loudly, Neil Hamburger then tries to do his act, but evrytime he tries to speak the crowd gets more angry, and throw suff at hm once again, this scene is alot worse then what to happened the day before. so, he finally leaves the stage, we now see him backstage where he sits down, he's holding his face, sobbing. suddenly, a pretty young woman who's around Neil Hamburger's age, walks into the room and tries to comfort him, but nothing seems to help, so she tells him about when she first started n the comedy business, she hd the same thing happen to her, and that it happend to every comedian. Neil Hamburger starts to feel better about this. the young now wants to see hi act, so Neil Hamburger shows her, she laughs and says it's brilliant. Neil Hamburger admits that it is but no one wants to hear it. so, the young lady has an idea. we now see the last act of the night finishing, just when the audience thought the show was over, the young lady comes out andtries to convince the audience to give Neil Hamburger one more chance, the audience disapproves as does the cub manager. finaly, she convinces them. Neil Hamburger comes out to one person clapping. Neil Hamburger starts his act, but isn't getting any laughter. he looks toward the young lady who urges him to keep going, Neil Hamburger tires, but still nothing. Neil Hamburger then is about to leave the stage, but someone from the audience yells out a insult at Neil Hamburger, so Neil Hamburger fire back an insult of his own, which the audience finds funny. Neil Hamburger seems confused, then someone else in the audience yells "got anymore insults?" Neil Hamburger now feels confident, and starts sayin more and more insults and other jokes. the crowd loves it, as does the young lady and the club manager. we now see both Neil Hamburger and the young lady backstage, celebrating a good night, the young lady then asks Neil Hamburger if he wants to go for dinner with her, Neil Hamburger agrees. we now see them in a resturant disscussing comedy and Neil Hamburger says how his dream is have an HBO comedy special one day. we now see them in going to the young lady's apartment, they walk into the apartment, they talk more, and then they start to get closer to each other, and then they kiss, they continue kissing, until the scene fades out. we now see Neil Hamburger come home, where it's late at night, he walks into the house, we see his parents were woried sick about him, but Neil Hamburger explains what happened, and his parents are proud of him. the next day we see both Neil Hamburger and the young at lunch where they discuss Neil Hamburger's act and how it could be improved. We now see Neil Hamburger risng through the ranks of comedians where see several newspaper headlines, people laughing, etc. we even see him and the young lady get married. at this point he's a well known comedian and hes now on a talk show, where he announces that his HBO comedy special will aring within the next few months, and right he's on a comedy tour, to promote the event. we see him on a tour bus with fellow comedians and his wife. they're now on the road, trying to promote Neil Hamburger's HBO comedy special. they make a rest stop, we see Neil Hamburger go into a rest room, in the rest room we see him doing some kind of illegal drugs. we now see him a a comedy club doing a stand up and people are laughing. after his act is done we see Neil Hamburger go into the club restroom adn do some of his illegal drugs, as he walks out of the stall, he sees a cop, who startles Neil Hamburger, which cause Neil Hamburger to drop drugs on the floor, the cop sees the drugs and immedatily arrests him. people, especially hi are both shocked and scared to see Neil Hamburger being put in the cop car andbeing drivin. his wife has tears running down her eyes, and she's yelling at Neil Hamburger, "Why?! Why?! Why?!" we then see Neil Hamburger get thrown behind bars. a few minutes later we see his wife come for a visit, his wife is a mess, she doesn't know what to say to him, she's mad. Neil Hamburger is trying to redeem himself, but nothing is helping, so she leaves. Neil Hamburger goes back to his cell, he slowly lays back in his cell bed, ad starts to cry. by the next day, everyone knows that one of the biggest comedians in the world is a drug addict and was found guilty and must serve 18 months in jail, and his HBO comedy special has ben cancelled. we see his parenst at thgeir home very upset as to what they've found out. we are getting close to 18 months, Neil Hamburger looks like a mess sitting in his cell, when his wife comes to visit him, in this heart renching scene, they have a heated arument, until finlly they embrace each other, and hi wife agrees to help him get back on track. we see Neil Hamburger come out of the jail, with reporters surrounding the place asking questions and taking pcitures, from there, Neil Hamburger sends a public apology out to the world, the crowd cheers in approval. We now see Neil Hamburger arrive home, where all thesudden the phone rings, it's HBO. they want to go for the comedy special one more time. Neil Hamburger agrees, with excitment, he and his wife celebrate. next, we see a short music montage of Neil Hamburger getting things back together and getting his special setup. after the montage, we see Neil Hamburger in his bed late at night, he's awake, and we his thoughts from throughout his life, from childhood to now, he all of the sudden feels very nervous about his special, he wakes up his wife, and she comforts him. we now see the arena where Neil Hamburger will be performing, nd we see a crowd of thousands chanting his name. Neil Hamburger is backstage both nervous and excited, he's with his wife and parents, who wish him good luck and they go to their seats. Neil Hamburger then takes a deep breath, his name is announced, and goes out on stage to a crowd going crazy for him. we then see Neil Hamburger do his routine, trough a music montage, after the special ends he says "thanks you very much everyone, good night!" the crowd cheers, and Neil Hamburger sees his wife and parents in he audience cheering and sending their love to him. Neil Hamburger is still on the stage, where he has a look of relief and satisfaction, the look n his face is saying "I did it!" we see a slow motion shot of him exiting the stage. we now see him backstae, where a backstage guy tells him, "there's someone that wants to see you, he's in you dressing room." Neil Hamburger, a little confused opens the door, and says "can I help you with something?" we see a gary haired man sitting in a chair with his back faced to Neil Hamburger, the man simply says "you did a great job out there kid." Neil Hamburger then realizes and says "George Carlin?" and man then says "that's right, kid, your favorite comedian" the man then turns around to revelve himslef as George Carlin. Carlin then says "after this performance, you will go down in history as a comedic legend." Neil Hamburger then has tears of joy in his eyes, finally, the two embrace each other and the picture fades out. The End!
Im pretty sure there is already a comedian who goes by the name of Neil Hamburger.
Why won't disgraced vocalist Courtney Love be having any CRANBERRY SAUCE with Christmas Fucking Dinner?!!?
cue Todd Barry cameo...we now see him backstae, where a backstage guy tells him,
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