You ever do something messed up just for the story?

[Home School Eddy]

Last sunday I left a video of me masturbating on my girlfriend's iphone. My girlfriend's mom just happened to look through her daughter's phone... then BAM. She watched me jerk it.

After I made that video, I smoked a bowl and then walked to arby's

I intentionally did this just so I can talk about it at my local open mic.

Comments, questions, suggestions welcomed

[Vercetti]

Just curious...what was the purpose of making a video of you jacking off to begin with? Were you going to watch it to try to improve your form? This might be a point worth addressing.

Whatever the case may be you just gave me one more reason to get an iPhone.

[aenemaTron]

You don't have to do something to talk about it on stage. Go ahead and lie.

[crlygrl]

Yes please. For the sake of all things decent...

Were you really home schooled, Eddie?

[JManderville]

I sometimes squeeze my toothpaste from the middle instead of rolling it up from the bottom, just for the story.

[mikemayberry]

I certainly do things for the story, I have an attention seeking personality. So yes,, I have done a lot of things like what you did because I am desperate to be the center of attention.

Let me know if you feel better about telling that story on stage because it is true.

*edit* I don't mean to be dickish and after reading this I thought that is how it could be taken. I have told lies and told the truth on stage and I am usually more comfortable lying.

[Harry Bongers]

I remember one time I made up an outrageous story and posted it on the internet so I could talk about it later.

[Vercetti]

I can't tell you how many frequent flier miles I've accumulated just so I could get the airline jokes.

[$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$]

I can't tell you how many frequent flier miles I've accumulated just so I could get the airline jokes.

I didnt get them at first either

[crlygrl]

I remember one time I made up an outrageous story and posted it on the internet so I could talk about it later.

You should have tweeted it, then linked us back to the tweet. THAT'S how you do the internet, folks!

[funkyrhino]

No, I already have too many true stories like the time I cursed at the cops and tried to run from them handcuffed while bent after drinking 2 bottles of Maddog 20/20. Needless to say I didn't get far. Or the time I was mugged in the Philippines.

[Couldn'tThinkOfaName]

I'm kinda the opposite of Eddy, I lie on stage about my exploits online.

[Just Brett]

If I actually did some of the things I lie about on stage, I'd be...

1. Homeless
2. Mentally Ill
3. Adorable
4. Suicidal
5. Single

Sooo... to answer the question at hand... no.

[shig]

Last sunday I left a video of me masturbating on my girlfriend's iphone. My girlfriend's mom just happened to look through her daughter's phone... then BAM. She watched me jerk it.

After I made that video, I smoked a bowl and then walked to arby's

I intentionally did this just so I can talk about it at my local open mic.

Comments, questions, suggestions welcomed

What?! OK, made video on girlfriend's phone, smoked, walked to Arby's. Those are the three parts that you intentionally did. I'm just thinking there better be some really good storytelling for this to even be worth talking about onstage.

As for the part about the mom watching the video, I suppose there are those people that would laugh at the "oh shit bro, her mom';s seen you jerk off" factor. Since her mom happened to look through the phone and see it though, it isn't even an original component in the "doing it so it's not a lie" reasoning you stated.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: if this post was meant to be funny, then I think it was poorly thought out. If it is in fact a factual and honest post, then, well I don't get how the only part that most would see as possibly being funny to a few people in a crowd is the one part thatyou could not have premeditated.

Please advise.

[Bucky_Sinister]

Last sunday I left a video of me masturbating on my girlfriend's iphone. My girlfriend's mom just happened to look through her daughter's phone... then BAM. She watched me jerk it.

After I made that video, I smoked a bowl and then walked to arby's

I intentionally did this just so I can talk about it at my local open mic.

Comments, questions, suggestions welcomed

You should intentionally do something funny if you want to talk about it onstage. Or really do it.

[mike_b]

I did that before I was a comedian.

[Siggers]

I Normally do evil things because i am a douche.

Glad i shared that.

[allansteiner]

I've never gone out of my way to do something awful just because I want a story.
I have, however, heard myself say "Worst case scenario, I'll get a good story out of this"

[suavepebble]

I lost my virginity for the story.

(I set em up...)

[justle]

I had sex with a girl who bled a bit. She went to the bathroom afterward to clean up or cry or do whatever girls do, and when she came out I was using a tide pen to get the blood out of my sheets and pillow cases.