"You can use that!"

[WheresMyToast]

I know this has been discussed before, but I'm wondering what you've come up with that you feel works and isn't mean or dismissive. We were poking gentle fun of someone at work, and the one friend I really talk to said, "hey, Jen, you can use that in your stand-up!" It's sweet when everyone goes, "Oh, you're doing stand-up? Let us know where and when!" (especially considering I haven't even gone up my first time yet) but then ... the suggestions start. Off the top of my head, all I could think of to say was, "yeah, I really don't want to talk about work in my off time" and "it doesn't work that way".

You've all been there. I've been there. My gut reaction veers between "do I seem desperate for material to you?" and "do I tell you how to raise your kids / play WoW?" So, in other words, I don't want to rely on my gut reaction. Well, maybe in the case of people I don't like, like my old roommate, who would say the most offensively hacky shit, offer it to me, and I would tell him he would make it to the borscht belt one day! But people I like - it's one of those inexplicable impulses people have. Can you explain it? What have you learned to say to people that you're happy you came up with?

Thanks!

[ErikNielsen]

Point out that you have to write all your own material, because that's kind of the whole point. If that doesn't stop them, they're either jerks or not very bright.

[Phil]

Don't worry about your colleagues. Some understand art and will always be very supportive of you. Others will resent you. And others who thought you were funny will come see your show, watch you bomb, give you advice, tell you which joke people didn't laugh at and why, then spread the office rumor that you're not funny.

You'll learn to ignore what your friends, family, and co-workers think of you doing stand-up. It's a very liberating experience. You'll gain new friends, much better better friends. You'll get girls to admire you. Fat girls at first, but the cute girls will eventually come. (I hope).

[Maximo]

I agree that the answer is just to say thanks but refuse a joke from someone else. I also try to direct them to facebook/twitter/etc. and let them know they can own their own jokes without being a comic.

The question I have is how to respond when someone you meet says, "You're a comic, huh? Tell me a joke." Depending on my mood, I either say 'come to my show' or 'Goddamit, I'm not a monkey you can make dance."

So, something in between? A quip that gives them the satisfaction of hearing something funny without me actually telling them a joke? I really do want them to come to my show, but I would hope I don't have to perform right there on the spot.

[WheresMyToast]

Erik - thanks, firstie! You are absolutely right that writing your own material is the point. Until I decided to do stand-up I was the friends-and-family go-to writer, as in "oh, you'll write my wacky workplace sitcom / African travel journal / parents' immigration story and work your magic on it, yes?" So far I've come up with a more or less nice kiss-off, as in, "oh, but everyone writes their own story best" or some such. The whole joke thing has magnified this impulse to the extreme; it's rather shocking. My goddamned sister and I were just texting about how deadly dangerous Chinatown buses can be and she had to end it with, "Good opportunities for material...!" WTF? I can't be the only one who thinks this is a weird tic everyone gets. People I barely know are suddenly going, "hey, this thing, huh? Huh?" What do you usually do?

Phil - welcome back to America, dude! I have, in fact, read the entire Open Mic thread and admire your gumption, performing for Finns. (Psst - I am a cute girl. I'm more worried about the "fuck you" factor, frankly, than getting dates. That, and not being able to translate my kind of funny into the stand-up arena.) I am quite looking forward to having mostly comedy friends again. I will take what you said about jealousy on board but, I swear to god, for the most part, people really think they're being helpful. Thus the conundrum...

Maximo - hi! I know this has been discussed throughout this forum because I can remember foolishly trying out jokes on bar friends and later identifying with other comics who pointed out that the atmospheres are completely different. Club jokes don't work in the kitchen, just as jokes from the kitchen don't necessarily work in a club. You could go super hacky and say, "sorry, I don't have my brick wall backdrop on me!" The seasoned human part of me wants to say, "man, if you don't already know I'm funny, then you are definitely not my audience." I.e., they don't get me. That is who says that, isn't it? People who don't get it? (Ah, reading back - just like Erik said.) Whether or not it's been successful, I just usually point back and go, "practice law!" or "manage employees!" or "renovate this house, go!" I'm no stranger to the stage but I bet there's much better advice from folks out there way less green than me.

This is all very helpful, thanks! I will report back and I hope you do too.

[nixonjames]

People never stop doing this, I like to humor them but I almost never will tell a joke when asked I'll just tell 'em the next time I'm on. Right now you've just gotta get on stage and keep at it. Also 'write your own' is a good one agreed.

You'll figure it out.

[tcmux]

Doesn't really bother me. A small 'yeah...' and light chuckle will dismiss them and it's over.

[Don Luzman]

I'm always amazed at the enthusiasm whenever I encounter someone like that, as if I'm supposed to get right on it. I always say "Oh no, that's not how it works... it has to come from a place within myself, so I can relate to what I'm saying."

And then I'm the pretentious asshole.