What hackey comics do that make them hackey..

[Phil]

I've been thinking alot lately about these hackey, B-rate professional comics that come a dime a dozen - and why exactly they're "hackey". Here's a few things I came up with...

1. Predicable punchlines - If I can predict the punchline, you suck. "Why wouldn't my dog eat that!? Well he eats his own shit, LOL!"

2. Setups are punchlines - Kinda similar to the first one, but hacks so often take something that should be in the setup, and make it the lame punchline. I wish I had an example for this one...

3. Edgy comics - Didn't these guys die out in the 80's? Apparently not. Sorry but you can't say anything that will "shock" me. "I rape babies, I don't give a fuck, man..."

4. Milking the punchline way too long - The joke stopped being funny two minutes ago.

5. Lame double entendres - Don't you love it when hacks pepper these in their lame sets?

6. Generic political themes - Only few of these political comedians are funny. "You know that Bush guy is an asshole!"

7. Above the audience - As soon as the comic thinks he's better than the audience, they suck. "People are soooo stupid, yah know!?"

8. Obviously lying - Comics all lie. But if I'm ever listening to your set and think to myself, "This guy is lying", he sucks. This happens particular with storyteller-style comics.

9. Ethnic stereotypes - "You know what's the problem with France?! The French!"

10. Same joke rhythm structure - You gotta change it up.

11. Too much cursing - The only thing funny about you is when you say 'fuck' really loudl

....what else am I missing...?

[Phil]

12. Opposite Day - "You know how people ________ ? Well imagine if they _________ (the opposite). Here's some examples..."

[CaptainBreakfast]

7. Above the audience - As soon as the comic thinks he's better than the audience, they suck. "People are soooo stupid, yah know!?"

The game here is not that the comic is above the audience, but that he's making his audience feel better than people who aren't themselves.

[st.raw]

13. Numbered lists

[heykevin]

13. Numbered lists

OHHH SLAM! duh duh duh...duh duh duh...let the boys be boys!

[Paul Ramone]

5. Lame double entendres - Don't you love it when hacks pepper these in their lame sets?

I'd like to pepper their hacks, if you know what I'm sayin'!

[scamboogah]

10. Same joke rhythm structure - You gotta change it up.

I think Steven Wright may disagree with you here.

[Phil]

I think Steven Wright may disagree with you here.

Eh, kinda. He had some longer stories. And he'd play the guitar. That certainly changed things up.

[yumitree]

14. empty net goals

[Jenny]

12) the attempts to relate to the audience "Oh mannnnnnnnnn PMS! The guys know what I'm talkin bout,right?" or "Men fart too much, amirite, ladies??"

13) In relation to the ethnic stereotypes, praising certain stereotypes. "C'mon, you black dudes are known for long cocks, you're lucky!"

[Phil]

13. Numbered lists

1. Predicable punchlines - If I can predict the punchline, you suck. "Why wouldn't my dog eat that!? Well he eats his own shit, LOL!"

[Jenny]

1. Predicable punchlines - If I can predict the punchline, you suck. "Why wouldn't my dog eat that!? Well he eats his own shit, LOL!"

4. Milking the punchline way too long - The joke stopped being funny two minutes ago.

[John Santana]

What hackey comics do that make them hackey........Do they dress like azz holes too?

[CaptainBreakfast]

nvm

[John Santana]

Would a comic who's still making fruit-cake jokes be a hack?

[pg13]

Spending too much time complaining about what other comics do is one of the most obvious speed bumps to any beginning comic's progress.

Don't become Jeannie Bueller, Phil.

pg--But good to see that your vast experience as a comedian now allows you to boldly state how everyone else should pursue their comedic dreams.--seattle

[yumitree]

Spending too much time complaining about what other comics do is one of the most obvious speed bumps to any beginning comic's progress.

Don't become Jeannie Bueller, Phil.

pg--But good to see that your vast experience as a comedian now allows you to boldly state how everyone else should pursue their comedic dreams.--seattle

that's 2 for roughing.

[pg13]

Fair enough.

pg--You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.--seattle

[souporman]

saying 'the terrorists are winning'

making a joke about how 9/11 is similar to 7/11

doing that joke about when you're spelling something out on the phone to customer service going A as in Apple P as in well how come you dont do that with numbers?!?!

doing a joke about how hairy your people are

doing that one observation joke about how in order to have a huge dick you need to sleep standing up cuz horses and elephants are hung like petrol pumps because they both sleep standing up

[Phil]

Spending too much time complaining about what other comics do is one of the most obvious speed bumps to any beginning comic's progress.

Don't become Jeannie Bueller, Phil.

pg--But good to see that your vast experience as a comedian now allows you to boldly state how everyone else should pursue their comedic dreams.--seattle

no no nooo...No one is complaining about other comics here, and I'm definitely not telling anyone how to pursue their comedic dreams. Merely over analyzing comedy as we normally do on here. We often discuss things comedians SHOULD do, why not things they shouldn't do?