Going on with what Shig asked about, starting the thread for posting videos of sets and jokes. It'd be really cool to do feedback so we all can get better (keep it tasteful ladies and gentlemen). So I'll get the ball rolling. Here is a sketch idea I had. I call it Poem Bashing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9KL9c39sPU
First post here, seems like a good way to introduce myself!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew1cI12Irvs
The cool band.......I really liked your spoken word thing...i've been to ONE poetry slam in my life but i feel like ive been to them all. You captured that perfectly.
Your impression was stronger when you weren't doing the sunglasses character. Poets are less in-your-face and more smug about their terrible words.
Really strong observational bit that you could keep doing for like 3 minutes if you wrote it out strongly enough.
Idk if you've done it onstage yet, but you don't need to start with the meta version...
"SOMETHING CLEVER" could be the last part of a poem.
also...idk if you've seen this, but maybe change your example version to something other than "broccoli", because it's very similar to pretty famous SNL bit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRW27fyvwCs
Keep doing the joke though. I liked it.
One of my longer sets, I'd love to hear some critiques on it because I'm at that stage where a fresh perspective could really help me out.
[youtube]YJIgOEfwrFo[/youtube]
Alec, I have heard most of this, but don't remember all of the can't smell material. One thing I would say that maybe you should work on is write call backs. I have ideas for it, but I don't want to ruin them for you. Also, don't be self-deprecating in mid-thought. You did it once that I noticed and it always bugs me when people do it in passing since it rarely goes far enough to get a laugh. I don't think that was part of your writing either, I think it is just something you threw in on stage.
Anyway, overall it was a decent set. I don't think I could hold my own as well as you did for 14 minutes, and you were pretty clean, which I find impressive.
Yeah, most of this set was the result of me stretching about 4 minutes of "No Smell" material into 9-10 minutes. I sandwiched the extended bit between reliable stuff you've probably already heard. I was supposed to do a 15 minute set but the show was running too long.
Call-backs are something I have trouble with because I rarely do my sets in the same order - I always shift things around depending on the night and that makes it harder for me to work call-backs into my act. Plus, I've just never personally felt like they were necessary. I've done them in the past and I'm sure I'll do them again, but as it stands I'm not too worried with it.
The self-deprecating thing, though, I am worried about. If a joke is met with silence - and it's almost always a brand new one I haven't tried yet - I find myself panicking for a split-second and I think I always end up going with the self-deprecation route. It gets a laugh but you're right in that it doesn't seem to fit. You're right that it happened on-the-spot... so did the joke about me waiting behind a car to get run over, which was a little funny, I guess, but listening back it sounds very awkward and that's the reason why.
And now my response is longer than yours so I'll shut up and thank you for watching and commenting. I appreciate it! (And thanks for noticing my relative cleanliness - it's a direction I've decided to take, for the most part, and I think it's making my joke-writing stronger. I highly recommend everyone give clean joke-writing a shot if you happen to be a dirtier comic.)
I second this. If anything else it's a good writing exercise. The current batch of new stuff that I'm working with is actually pretty clean. A far cry from some of my earliest stuff.Originally Posted by ASR
Also, Alec, let me second the love for your set. You could probably tighten up some of the middle material, as you said, but overall I thought it was pretty solid from beginning to end. Good work!
(Post moved to another thread)
Thanks for the critique Vercetti. I've posted some of these jokes on here before, and I posted this vid to show how I was progressing with my timing & delivery.
Thanks!
Last edited by Just Brett; September 20, 2010 at 7:01 AM. Reason: Wasn't getting any views on this one...
...and then I found ten dollars.
Brett: Good stuff! Your impressions at the end in particular all made me laugh. Some of this stuff I've heard before and it sounds tighter so good on you.
As a reward here's me doing one of my older jokes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7UPL-LskMU
This is the last set I worked up recently. I focused on tweaking this all of july/august and this is from my set at Nick's.
I definitely goofed the opening, had a weak leadin, managed to bring the crowd up a bit.
But ultimately not a useful vid b/c my flip cam was about 20ft behind the audience so it doesn't pick up on the smattering of chuckles I got on pretty much everything, you only really hear the time I got most everybody.
That being said I'm pretty content scrapping almost all of this (save lazy islamist and asians won't yawn) but almost everything I'm working on now is stronger imho than what I did here so I think I've got a pretty well developed 5-7 now with the new stuff tagged in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYwO88j8WOE
Since you are scrapping the rest, I will just say that the asian yawning thing is funny and I don't like the lazy islamist character. I like your laid back style though, you remind me of a friend of mine that has that same approach on stage.
Wow! I'm always so impressed with the talent, honesty, and constructive nature of these forums! This is such a good thread.
Sorry for sounding like a Boy Scout. It's just that I'm a Boy Scout.
TheCoolBand-LOVED the energy! Solid premise, and even though I'm NOT familiar with what you were parodying exactly, I could still appreciate it, and laugh at it, so that's a good sign, yeah? My instincts say to make it a LITTLE bit shorter, and maybe a bit more exaggeration towards the end, but I'm s new at this, that I'm practically guessing. Anyway, loved it!
ASR-I really like your style, I've been watching some of your various posted vids around here, and I really like what you do! I definitely prefer the "cloned" punch line to the "time-traveling" one, but I'm not sure how to articulate why, so sorry about that. Perhaps it's simply delivery? I'd be interested in hearing your reasoning behind it.
Anyway, I'd appreciate some feedback on a set I did tonight. I think I'm gaining confidence, but still find it tough at this stage to know how to push myself or work on particular aspects, other than saying "this part feels awkward"
Anyway, I'd appreciate any feedback!
[YOUTUBE]oKUChQoML1g[/YOUTUBE]
Last edited by iantherage; September 30, 2010 at 11:15 PM. Reason: Trying to get the video right
[YOUTUBE]qJGQls_R-go[/YOUTUBE]
This is the first time I'd done any of this material live. Curious what people think of the content and storytelling direction. I know it needs to be tightened up a lot. Written set starts with the census joke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AS_3WxGi80
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8514lPF97s4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcgjT3EVJec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRNbbGwicH8
Longest set I've ever done edited a bit. It was a lot of fun and I hope you all enjoy it.
Last edited by SpencerRollins; October 6, 2010 at 12:24 AM.
I appreciate all the feedback and glad to see everyone sharing. Thought the other sets were really strong too. Here is a new sketch I did. It's called when graduation speeches goes wrong...funnier than the other vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DFI4uULHB0
This is a segment from a recent performance at the Harrison Hilltop theatre in Davenport, IA. Opened for their production of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"!
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b72...gment-10-16-10
Hey, so this is part of a set I did a few weeks ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg4NVf-YNL4
Jon m, Your clown jokes were alright. I didn't like the rest of it. I think you are funny based on this line: "you can't imagine a world full of pedophiles? Well I can!"
Last edited by mikemayberry; October 29, 2010 at 10:22 AM.
Message boards are a great place to have your opinions misconstrued and taken out of context by strangers you would probably hate in real life
I remember seeing you in Peoria, you are pretty funny, but I don't think you did that well in this video. You got some good laughs, but I don't think you consistently engaged the crowd, which seems important if you are doing time ahead of the rocky horror picture show.
Message boards are a great place to have your opinions misconstrued and taken out of context by strangers you would probably hate in real life
This was not funny at all.
Message boards are a great place to have your opinions misconstrued and taken out of context by strangers you would probably hate in real life
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