The Ultimate AST Stage Time Forum Thread

[pg13]

If you want to do it, quit thinking about doing it and just do it.

Do it the way you want to do it and don't worry about what others think (as long as your way of doing it doesn't rip somebody else off.)

It doesn't matter as much as you think it does where or when you start doing it. If you can do it where you are right now, awesome. If you can't, you can wait because you don't really have to be in a rush, you can move but don't expect that to magically fix everything or you can create your own opportunities but know that's an undertaking with consequences.

It doesn't matter as much as you might think how you, personally, do something if it allows you to get what is funny and original in your head out of your head and make it funny to someone else. And while learning how others do what they do can inform your process, there's no one perfect way to do it.

In general, there's no trick but to do it.

Try it and see. If it works, awesome. If it fails, well, then, now you know what doesn't work. Or recognize that there are a million reasons why something might not have worked once and you should probably try it again.

You shouldn't seek out failure but you shouldn't be terrified of possible failure to the point of not trying either.

Don't get into comedy to make friends. Don't go into comedy to find love. Don't go into comedy to become famous. We all do and we all find heartbreak. Suck it up and deal with it.

You have no idea how much you don't know. You have even less of an idea how you'll change when you start to find out.

Be as nice as you can to everyone. Your future in comedy depends more on people finding you easy to get along with than it does in how fucking funny you are.

Deal with disappointment better. Comedy isn't pretty and comedy isn't fair. Someone who isn't as fucking funny as you are will get opportunities you won't get, will move up faster than you will, will become everything you deserve to be.

When something good happens for you, don't let yourself think it's because you're special or that you've earned it...even if it's true.

We're all needy, we're all bitter and we're often pitted against each other for the amusement of those who have power over us--the sooner you accept that, the less unnecessary stress you'll add to what is already hard enough.

The world is a lot less interested in your journey and your process than you could ever imagine.

Your friends will stop being interested in seeing you at open mics very quickly.

It's all a lot easier with a comedy buddy who you trust to encourage you and be totally honest with you whenever you need one or the other. Good luck finding one!

Lists of vague generic advice from a comedian you've never actually seen perform comedy are worth exactly as much as the paper they're not printed on.

pg--I'm sure I forgot a few.--seattle

[ASR]

And with that, the Stage Time forum almost seems respectable.

(Great post!)

[crlygrl]

I think we've tried this in the past with a post from Patton. The urge for some posters to start new threads (WHY??) will overtake your awesome post, PG.

[funkyrhino]

Do it the way you want to do it and don't worry about what other's think

The biggest orange cones are inside our own heads.

Try it and see. If it works, awesome. If it fails, well, then, now you know what doesn't work. Or recognize that there are a million reasons why something might not have worked once and you should probably try it again.

Very true. My biggest problem was showing people my set list, premises and even jokes and listening to them tell me what won't work and what will, confusing me so much that I kept putting off going up. Finally I just said forget it, If it doesn't get laughs I don't care, this is not a competition.

Don't get into comedy to make friends. Don't go into comedy to find love. Don't go into comedy to become famous. We all do and we all find heartbreak. Suck it up and deal with it.

Ahhh, how many times did I hear this: "Man I want to dance like you, teach me so I can get the girls" They don't realize I could care less about the girls, I loved to dance. If it's not in your heart not only will you go nowhere but you'll also quit sooner than later.

Someone who isn't as fucking funny as you are will get opportunities you won't get, will move up faster than you will, will become everything you deserve to be.

And when they do congratulate them instead of sitting at the bar with your drink talking about how much they suck. (I had to listen to that conversation a few weeks ago)

The world is a lot less interested in your journey and your process than you could ever imagine.

Yep, they aren't that interested until you become recognized and start to make a name if you ever do. Or until you start rubbing shoulders with the 'known'

[mikemayberry]

Be as nice as you can to everyone. Your future in comedy depends more on people finding you easy to get along with than it does in how fucking funny you are.

This is bad advice. Being nice is one of the biggest problems with humanity today. I want to bruise people each and every time I hear them say "nice set." It is nice, but it is bullshit. Don't blow smoke up peoples' asses just because they are around, save that activity for the people that you think are genuinely talented and may be able to get you stage time in the future.

Otherwise, I think what you said here was wonderful. Now just hand this out to people before they walk into your stand up comedy class along with their refund and I will love you forever.

[Couldn'tThinkOfaName]

I understand where you are coming from, Pg, but questions remain.

Should I attempt to make what I say on stage humorous?

If, after three months of open mics I'm not the next Chris Rock, should I kill myself?

Does it count as joke theft if the comic has died?

I have recently had a gig that did not go well and didn't get many laughs. Has this happened in comedy before?

When discussing comedy online, should it be my objective to suck any joy from the subject?

[crlygrl]

When discussing comedy online, should it be my objective to suck any joy from the subject?

I know you directed your original questions to PG, so I hope you won't find it rude of me to address this particular point:

YES. Drain it of it's lifeforce, its smile, it's spirit. Then do the same to the people who love it by not limiting yourselves even the slightest bit or giving a shit how annoying you might actually be.

[crlygrl]

(And before Tron yells at me, yes I know I should just stay out of there. But seriously... a thread on what word processor is used for writing comedy??)

[YOUTUBE]SP_9zH9Q44o[/YOUTUBE]

[pg13]

This is bad advice. Being nice is one of the biggest problems with humanity today. I want to bruise people each and every time I hear them say "nice set." It is nice, but it is bullshit. Don't blow smoke up peoples' asses just because they are around, save that activity for the people that you think are genuinely talented and may be able to get you stage time in the future.

Otherwise, I think what you said here was wonderful. Now just hand this out to people before they walk into your stand up comedy class along with their refund and I will love you forever.

I make no claims that my comments are about how things should be--they are a reflection of how things are...

When a headliner is looking for someone to take along as their feature on their next week on the road, they don't choose the funniest motherfucker...they choose the guy with the car who'll drive, who won't drive them crazy (and who probably will share their weed--and that's the one that always trips me up.)

You may not like it, Mike...but you're proving my advice accurate. Based on what you've written on AST, I'd probably never choose to work with you.

But, by all means, enjoy the smug self-righteousness you've earned by not bothering to be nice!

pg--Absolute honesty might seem brave and idealistic to you now, but it too often is used by many as justification for letting themselves be dicks and feel superior. Not really a virtue in my mind.--seattle

PS--Nice post, Mike!

[Vercetti]

This is bad advice. Being nice is one of the biggest problems with humanity today. I want to bruise people each and every time I hear them say "nice set." It is nice, but it is bullshit. Don't blow smoke up peoples' asses just because they are around, save that activity for the people that you think are genuinely talented and may be able to get you stage time in the future.

Being nice to people, which you'd think would be a general non-given, is a different thing than dishing out praise to anyone. If someone, friend or stranger, does a good set I'll genuinely say "hey, good stuff". I'm not selective about my kindness or have any kind of political motivation because they "may be able to get me stage time". I just like to treat people how I want to be treated. You know, just not being a dick. The comedy world can be a shitty place and I'd rather not be one of the ones that keeps the flow of negativity going.

But, ya know, good luck to you.

[SeanX3]

You have no idea how much you don't know.

As a veteran of two open mics, I can admit that this is the pure fucking truth.

Great post.

[mikemayberry]

But, ya know, good luck to you.

That's funny.

The "may be able to get me stage time" was a joke, apparently a bad one. My bad. If you say "hey, good stuff" to someone and mean it, that's fine and that's not what I am talking about. A solid feature act I know who has seen me two times, once when I did well and once on the day my cat died and I was bombing, said to me "I really like your style" when I got off stage. He was probably lying the first time, and although he was being nice the second time, he should have said, hey, maybe a comedy open mic isn't the right place for you to work through your emotions surrounding a fresh death - or nothing at all. And there are a ton of open mic-er's that are terrible, but no one is telling them out of fear that people will be honest right back to us. At least, that is the only explanation I can come up with.

I don't want negativity across the board, I want honesty, which can be both good and bad. When I replied to PG, I mentioned that I thought everything he wrote except the one thought was wonderful (and I intended that without sarcasm). That is positive honesty. It was a really good post. The rest of my comment was negative honesty, but it wasn't intended to show how superior I was to him, it was to outline something in comedy that gets on my nerves.

[crlygrl]

Just that you want to "bruise" anyone who gives a "nice show" to someone coming off stage. Just cuz it's "honest" doesn't mean it's not a completely dickish sentiment.

[Barmy Man]

If you don't wanna say "good set" or whatever, that's fine, but I certainly wouldn't tell somebody they did terrible. For one thing, they're probably aware of that. Also, they're usually a part of your audience. If you start throwing out insults, the crowd gets a lot tougher.

[Vercetti]

I don't want negativity across the board, I want honesty, which can be both good and bad. When I replied to PG, I mentioned that I thought everything he wrote except the one thought was wonderful (and I intended that without sarcasm). That is positive honesty. It was a really good post. The rest of my comment was negative honesty, but it wasn't intended to show how superior I was to him, it was to outline something in comedy that gets on my nerves.

But why? It just seems like a weird thing to get irked by. Maybe the guy who saw you twice really DID like you. Take the compliment, say thanks and move on.

"And there are a ton of open mic-er's that are terrible, but no one is telling them out of fear that people will be honest right back to us. At least, that is the only explanation I can come up with."

Maybe because telling someone at an open-mic, where people are usually either working out material or just starting out, how shitty they are is pretty assholish? If someone came up to you fresh off the stage and told you you sucked you wouldn't appreciate their honesty, would you? This is manners and common sense.

Also, sorry about your cat.

[mikemayberry]

Vercetti, I see what you mean. Maybe I need to look at what it is that is really bothering me because it is obviously not something that people are picking up on. Certainly plenty of food for thought for me in this thread.

[SeanX3]

I thought this was a great article, and very relevant to where I'm at right now, at the very beginning, but probably also to anyone at any level — trying anything!...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ing-fewer-them

[Brian J.]

Thanks for sharing your wisdom. This was exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time.

[mezmorized]

Great post pg.

Here's some additional advice I've gleaned during my time doing it. (I did open mics for about 2 1/2 years and stopped doing it when I realized I love writing the jokes more than I did telling them on stage.)

Try a joke at least 3 times before ditching it. Carlin said it in an interview about trying a joke three times before ditching it. The first time might be your delivery, the second time might be the audience, but if by the third time of telling the joke it still doesn't work, drop it.

Don't censor yourself, try everything. You'd be surprised how many jokes go over well when you think they're bad. Bits you think are gold are that much more likely to fail than ones you think aren't funny enough.

I second the nice thing. If someone compliments your set, whether you thought it was good or bad, always say thank you. Despite the fact that it is a selfish business, being nice is always better in the long run. It's better for your soul, plus there are already enough assholes.

This quote from Steve Martin speaks more to working your craft than "networking":

"Be undeniably good. When people ask me how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them and nobody ever takes note of it ‘cause it’s not the answer they wanted to hear — what they want to hear is here’s how you get an agent, here’s how you write a script, here’s how you do this — but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’ If somebody’s thinking, ‘How can I be really good?’, people are going to come to you. It’s much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties."

And the thing I always keep in my head is something Amy Poehler said. She said to work at it over and over. Then after 10 years of doing your craft as a nobody, MAYBE, a friend will hire you and give you a chance. Definitely puts it in perspective when you are starting out.

[Dylan Smith]

Being nice is one of the biggest problems with humanity today.

I agree with your sentiment - and I actually express the same view most of the time - but, sadly, many don't. I think you just came off too harshly to those people in getting your point across.