Terrible Jokes Go Here

[Maximo]

Wouldn't it make more sense to say something like, "he seems to be a nice guy?" I like him isn't really an impression of someone.

Yeah, I think you might be right. That's a great suggestion, thanks.

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

I wrote this when I was 13:
Did you hear about the woman who had an affair with a married man, then shot his wife, then was in a nuclear accident? They're calling her the "Three Mile Island Lolita"

[scamboogah]

Maximo/Berliner's interaction is like AST on speed:

Day 1 - That's the greatest joke I've ever heard.
Day 2 - You should change that joke.
Day 3 - Yeah, I'm over that guy. He's still doing that impression joke.

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

What do dentists dip their tortilla chips into? Guaca-molar

[stephenhicks]

This is the correct thread, yeah?

http://youtu.be/4GffCjjulVk

[ThomasJ]

I will say that I've tried that joke a few times, to mostly mixed reviews. I think there's a better way or a better time within my set to tell it than I have been, but I haven't found it yet.

I had a similar joke for a while "You guys want to hear an impression? Ok, here's my impression of that girl there in the second row. I'd say she's about a 7."

I never got enough out of it to justify keeping it, but I never really fought for it either.

[Maximo]

I had a similar joke for a while "You guys want to hear an impression? Ok, here's my impression of that girl there in the second row. I'd say she's about a 7."

I never got enough out of it to justify keeping it, but I never really fought for it either.

Yeah, I guess that's why I threw mine in the Terrible Jokes thread - because that's ultimately what it is.

But enough about that joke, this thread is bigger than that. Here's another silly joke I've done a few times to a mostly mehh response:

I think Montreal needs more and better mental health services, so people stop jumping infront of the subway and making me late for work.

[Berliner]

Tasteless Gaddafi death joke, retracted!

[scamboogah]

Good idea. Be a shame to offend the large pro-Gaddafi wing of AST...

[Berliner]

Bin Laden, Al-Awlaki, Jobs, and now Gaddafi: Good Job Obama!

There, you happy?

[scamboogah]

Totally!

[Just Brett]

Why do they call a "window" a "window? Because when the wind hits the glass, the wind is all like "ohhhh..."

[scamboogah]

FYI, Berliner, Jeselnik just tweeted your joke damn near word for word.

[pollymaepry]

Then that makes 4 people i've heard make some sort of Jobs/Gaddafi joke today.

[Chase Roper]

I'm going to try to write one on the spot. Here goes:

This week in court, Lindsey Lohan was cuffed and taken into custody. Sorry Lindsay, looks like that judge plays by GEORGIA RULES!

yeah, that's pretty terrible.

[suavepebble]

Three hamsters walk into a bar... and they were out of ham!

[suavepebble]

The theory of levels: The fact that they were out of ham means the hamsters were arriving at the bar FOR the ham -- meaning they are ham-enthusiasts and not little animals. On top of this, a bar is not usually the place to go for ham, especially if you are a bona fide hamster! Do you see?!?

THEN... the fact remains that they went to this bar for ham. Being hamster dudes this bar must have been inexplicably known for its ham?!? I don't know... but I know one thing: The bar was out of ham that day! Suckers!

[suavepebble]

I bet sand witches get made fun all the time by just normal witches

[suavepebble]

I put little pieces of Nerf in the middle of halloween candy just to make a joke about how they used to put razorblades in there as a joke.

[suavepebble]

I think it's weird that people go "You know dracula is actually based on this guy named vlad the impaler"

Why did they change it to dracula? That's like writing a book about the tyrant rapemachine rex and calling it "Mentosocles"