...or does anything go? I have a joke that starts out with me saying I was sexually abused as a child. My punchline is that my grandmothers dying words were to me, and she said "don't have sex before marriage".
Should I use this? Or, should I not even use it because it's not even funny? Any thoughts or suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
...and then I found ten dollars.
The absolute best performers in our business have proven that it is possible to joke about anything and make it work.
The question is more if YOU are able to make what you want to talk about work for the type of audiences that you're likely to be performing for...and, really, the only way for you to find out is to try it and see.
Now, my prediction is that the sphincters of most comedy audiences will tighten whenever discussion turns to kids being hurt...tighten further when discussion turns to kids who are sexually abused...and closes tight when talking about old people dying...
BUT, depending on how likable you can be...how you present the topics you're presenting...and how well crafted your joke actually is...you could make it work.
Or, you'll learn a valuable lesson about how to read a room and understand why they react the way they do.
Either way, it's not like we, from the sidelines, can tell you whether someone we haven't seen should perform a joke that they haven't told us to audiences that we're unfamiliar with...nor should we. You've got to have the balls to try something you want to do, to see if it works and be able to accept and adapt if it doesn't.
How else will you learn?
Good luck.
pg--Knee deep in the hoopla.--seattle
EDIT: Nevermind.
Bob LaRitchie, Brian's Friend
I'm not a comedian, but I am a writer. I'm writing a piece about things "you should never talk about". Fear, anxiety, isolation. More Marc Marons are needed!
If laughter is the release of tension, then a good joke talking about something we all fear for ourselves and our children *could* be amazing.
But I'd agree that there are several caveats and catches involved in it. Mike Birbiglia in an interview once said that the one response you don't want from an audience is "aaaw poor thing". So that's one thing to think about.
One way to avoid actual pity from the public is to take control of the anecdote and the reality you're relaying to the public, you're already sort of doing it with your punchline. You'd have to consider if the punchline is good or even deep enough to convince the public you're in charge of the thing.
On Howard Stern many guests, including stand ups, have talked about their experiences receiving and doling out (kidding) sexual abuse. It's so commonplace there that something that could be really scary (talking to millions about being sexually abused) is seen as just another source of quirk.
Seems like what is usually is taking importance out of the event, and defusing any tension derived from it from the get go. I have yet to listen to a funny bit coming from the point of view of a child being sexually abused. Good Luck.
I'm not really giving advice here, just my thoughts around the subject, maybe it'll help you find and angle to approach the subject. Again good luck, and come back and tell us how it turned out.
"Andy Dick plays lots of games with his sons, monopoly, put the tail on the donkey and Colin Quinn's childhood"
Greg Giraldo on Howard Stern's Andy Dick Roast
[youtube]fklAORACOK0[/youtube]
It's a pretty good handle of the subject.
I dunno, I wouldn't want that sort of vibe in my act, seems like the guy bought sympathy using his personal tragedy as currency. Not saying it's wrong or anything, but I wouldn't do that. I'd rather reward the audience for sticking with my awful story by giving them a great joke.
I opened a show about me getting raped and my horrible life that got me a big laugh. I thoguht to myself, lead these people down this road like i am sad and depressed they all are going to think, "AW another one of those talking about sad life non funny ." Then i hit the punchline got some big laughes. Now the joke wasn't the greatest but it was the highlight of my night.
Rape is funneh.
Every time Siggers posts all that goes through my mind is "Chosen One"
Laughter is. It doesn't really matter why we laugh. The aim is to convey what you find funny about a given situation. A guy once pulled up to me in an SUV when I was sixteen and asked me, "How old is your cock?" in a vain attempt to lure me into a sex dungeon. Some people might find this awful, I find it funny and have milked it for humor for years. But if I didn't find anything about it funny, then I wouldn't talk about it. What's key is that you think it's funny, regardless of the topic.
It was sixteen.
Thus far, I've i wanted to respond to everyone. These are all really great replies, and the sorta thing I wanted to see on here. I really appreciate it. It's a short little joke at the end of another bit. I'll be sure and let you all know when I use it in my act. I may even omit the words "sexually abused". Let people make there own minds up.
...and then I found ten dollars.
Oh and while I'm at it, and there may even be a thread for this topic, but I've written a short little one liner in my act, and then about a week later, I hear the same joke from a professional comic in his act on Comedy Central. It's not verbatim, but it's damn close. We just approached the same subject with a short & similar one liner. Should I still use it? I haven't performed it yet, and I'll be sad If I don't, but it'll sound like i'm hack if i do. Shit. I really wanted to use it. Should I post the joke? I'm new to this whole forum thing.
...and then I found ten dollars.
I would've gone with "thirty-nine"-Originally Posted by Keith Whitener
I was not 39.
"If someone does it on tv, they own it."--stand-up comedy truism.
The theory behind that truism is that television is so pervasive, that if you continue to the the joke after someone has done a similar joke on tv...there'll always be the chance that someone saw the joke as it was done on tv and they'll assume that you stole it from whoever it was on tv.
That said...there are thousands of touring comedians who are doing jokes that are quite similar to things that have been done by other comedians, and things that are similar to things that have been done on tv. Not all of them are thieves, obviously. Some of them know that they're working something that is similar to something else and have chosen not to care... Some of them simply don't know--as television is not as universal as it once was... (And technology has changed--does the truism apply to YouTube? I'd guess probably not...unless that YouTube truly went viral.)
What's the worst that can happen to them? Someone thinks less of them? Someone thinks, however unfairly, that they didn't write their own material? I'd love to say that comedy bookers demand absolute artistic integrity from the people they hire...they don't. I'd love to say that comedy audiences demand originality above everything else from the comedians they go to see...but they don't.
It's on you...how much it matters to you...and how much the opinion of your peers matters to you... For most of us, it matters a lot.
The best answer is...don't become married to any piece of material. If it works, you'll cling to it like a liferaft...but the simple fact is, with an infinite number of comedy monkeys clattering away on an infinite number of typewriters...eventually, every thought will be thought by someone...and some of those someones might get on Live at Gotham before you do.
Oh...and the world keeps spinning. Jokes fall out of relevance...or the topics you're joking about become so common place as to not be terribly funny...or a million other reasons why any particular joke is just better off being jettisoned rather than clung to...
If you learn this lesson this early, you'll be better prepared to handle it when you see the crux of the idea that is the key to a joke that takes up 4-5 minutes of your act be used as a throwaway line by Judah Friedlander as he hosted a show barely anyone watched (which just happened to a friend of mine...and he's having a very hard time giving up that chunk of material, despite having heard multiple times from friends and audience members that they'd seen Judah do that similar-to-his bit...)
Welcome to the cruel and unfair world that is professional comedy.
pg--Of course, if you're just a hobbyist...it might not matter. As with almost anything in comedy, it's really up to you.--seattle
I keep trying to write a joke about how sexual abuse leads to starring in porn. I've reworked it numerous times and keep trying to improve it, but everytime I tell it it just makes the audience sad and kills my set.
But I still think it's possible for the joke to work, I just need to keep improving it. I don't believe there is anything that we absolutely can't talk about, just some things that are far more difficult to successfully talk about.
You should never ever talk about Mighty Max. Nobody cares about Mighty Max.
Polly Pocket is fair game.
It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth when white guys call girls "bitch" on stage.
It kinda adds a feeling of violence that most likely doesn't need to be there.
I think basically anything is fair game so long as you're self-aware enough to understand how it comes off to an audience.
Or maybe I should say: anything is fair game so long as the reason you're talking about it is funny at its core.
Your mother being dead probably isn't going to be funny. But your reaction to her death might be. (I find it odd that I use that as an example, as my mother is still very much alive)
Trying stuff out on a friend whose sense of humor you trust is usually a good way to figure out what will work and what won't. If you don't feel comfortable doing that for some reason, try it out at an open mike and see how people react. Sometimes an audience will surprise you.
Last edited by allansteiner; December 8, 2009 at 12:01 AM.
It sounds like you've got a pretty solid joke in there somewhere, but I think you should be doing some searching. Assuming that you are speaking from truth, you may be able to find enough humor simply in the fact that the last thing your Grandma ever said to you was not to have premarital sex. That alone is pretty ripe for humor. Really spend some time asking questions and trying to come up with answers as to why it might be funny. If you ask good enough questions, you shouldn't have to lie. Did she say it on her death bed? Did she bring you in close so that only you could hear her? Did she plan on making those her last words just to fuck with you? How old were you at the time? etc...
If you explore that on stage, then you can use the fact that you were sexually abused as a child a punch-line instead of a set up. (As fucked up as that sounds I get the feeling it will lead to a much stronger joke)
Of course you could always go a completely different direction with it. That's the cool thing about writing jokes. There is no right or wrong.
Then, depending on how comfortable you are talking about it, you could let that lead into another bit about the actual abuse... I imagine that would be a pretty difficult joke to write, but it might be worth it a try just to see what comes up. If you don't like it, you can always chuck it in the trash. Again just ask yourself questions. Why did it happen like this instead of like that? Why did I react like this? why hasn't it affected me this way? etc...\
Play around with it and see what happens. You just might surprise yourself.
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