Routine perspective, "I" or "We"

[CodyK]

In one of the stand-up routines I'm working on, I'm not quite sure where to put the perspective. I'm not sure whether to use I or We.

When I was a kid I was special. Everything I did was special. I took my first step, everyone said “You’re so awesome.” I talked, everyone said “You’re so great.” I learned to read, everyone said “You’re so smart, when you grow up, you can do anything you want.”
And now I’m an adult, the world, my parents, my inner voice, they’re all just like - fuck you.

vs

When you were a kid, you were special. Everything you did was special. You took your first step, everyone said "You're so awesome." You talked, and everyone said, "You're so great." You learned to read and everyone said, "You're so smart, when you grow up you can do anything you want."
But now I'm an adult, the world, my parents, my inner voice, they're all just like - fuck you.

vs

When we were kids ... (this one sounds really weird because of all the we's, it sounds like I have multiple personalities or something).

It continues on, but I'm not sure, I didn't read much about perspective in the books. I like talking about "myself" in the first way, but at the same time the second one sounds more natural and possibly easier for the audience to relate to.

What do you think? I'd do it both ways and find out if there's any real reaction, but I think it might be a common issue and stage time is preciously rare here.

Thanks.

[suavepebble]

I think you should shut the fuck up -- love, mom.

[Vercetti]

If it was me I'd probably go with "I". Mainly because it's you giving your point of view.

[ASR]

I take comfort in knowing that regardless of the perspective, it's always "fuck you."

[CodyK]

I modified it into something else entirely, and it bombed on stage. cest la vie, whatever that means.

[crlygrl]

Can we rename Stage Time to "How to Overanalyze Comedy and Alienate People?"

Cody, just tell the story. Don't think about it too much. Stop thinking. Right now.

[James Smann]

My personal take on it is to make as much of a personal connection with your material as possible. People will find you to be a much more sympathetic character if you are able to be open about yourself and expose faults/flaws etc.

[Phil]

I laughed when reading it. But I can see how it wouldn't work with the right crowd/room/mood. I hope you used 1st person.

[pixel revolt]

Smoke more weed. Read more comic books.

[RoyalDutchOfDukes]

We think all jokes should be told using the royal We. That way people might think that if they don't laugh at our jokes we'll have them executed.

[SlyBattery]

I think its more in the vein of a quality comedian to objectify people. But then again its probably also in the vein of a qc (quality comedian) to just try out each one and see which one feels best.

[Phil]

I've been dealing with this same problem in my comedy writing recently - Do I write in 1st person or 3rd person?

I do mostly observational stuff, so writing in 3rd person makes me sound like either a hack or Jerry Seinfeld. "You know how people _______ ?" But it works, the audience understands the observation.

But I've been trying to do as much 1st person as possible. The problem is, the audience doesn't always read between the lines and get the observation. I've found it harder to write in 1st person, but the payoff is better.

[Brian J.]

[QUOTE=Phil;113554]I've been dealing with this same problem in my comedy writing recently - Do I write in 1st person or 3rd person?

I do mostly observational stuff, so writing in 3rd person makes me sound like either a hack or Jerry Seinfeld. "You know how people _______ ?" But it works, the audience understands the observation.
QUOTE]

Almost everytime I have started a bit with something like "You know how people ___+_?" I end up getting into a conversaation with an audience member. Usually a person will say something along the lines of "yeah i have noticed that." and then they would like to discuss it further, like this is some psycho analysis session.

[maxbarth]

When in doubt, go with the 2nd plural (y'all).

Just sayin'....y'all.

[Phil]

Almost everytime I have started a bit with something like "You know how people ___+_?" I end up getting into a conversaation with an audience member. Usually a person will say something along the lines of "yeah i have noticed that." and then they would like to discuss it further, like this is some psycho analysis session.

Yeah, here in Finland where stand-up is relatively new, asking rhetorical questions to a tipsy audience can have dangerous consequences. I'll have multiple people simultaneously give me monologues: "yes! yes!! I too have seen people do that!"

[Siggers]

In all my stories i go with I because I suck.

[Brian J.]

Yeah, here in Finland where stand-up is relatively new, asking rhetorical questions to a tipsy audience can have dangerous consequences. I'll have multiple people simultaneously give me monologues: "yes! yes!! I too have seen people do that!"

I would do my best to avoid rhetorical questions because it invites the lunatics in, as evidenced by this story.

'Twas over five years ago, I decided to give stand up a try and this was my third attempt (which will show in the material). A woman of about forty was in the audience by herself.

Me: You know what I hate?
Woman: What?
Me: Have you seen these people with the book bags on wheels?
Woman: Yes i have seen that, what's wrong with that?
Me: They roll their stupid bags around and they take up so much space, and i'm trying to walk around them (i acted out trying to walk around them. Who am i Jay Leno?)
Woman: Yeah I've noticed that. it's annoying.
Me: (addressing her) yes it is annoying lady! I feel like kicking their bags! (at this point i acted out kicking the bag much like jay leno would) Get out of my way! I've got places to go!
Woman: No don't say that.
Me: They just clog up the hallways in my school. That's gotta be a fire hazard!
Woman: You're right.
Me: If a fire ever breaks out and i'm stuck behind these people trying to get around their stupid bags i'm just going to push them into the fire!
Woman: No, don't do that!
Me: Yeah and then i'll just step over their burning carcass!
Woman: No! Why would you do something like that?!
Me: Either that or i'll push them into the fire and step on them like a Lilly pad to avoid my shoes touching the fire.
Woman: Oh that's just evil. You're bad.

I love how she was with me and then i lost her. After my set she came up to me and said "You are anti-social. and you have a superiority complex."
Me: Thanks for the diagnosis.