Quotes (and other things) that inspire you

[ificouldjumpinhere]

Hey guys, I'd like to hear some of the advice, pieces of wisdom - pretty much anything - that has stuck with you. Anything that made you want to be a better comedian, or DID make you a better comedian, or just perfectly summed up how you feel about comedy in general.

I was thinking about this when I was re-reading Patton Oswalt's graduation speech that he delivered at his old high school back in 2009. I read that thing, probably, twice a month, and there's so much in it that still gives me chills and makes me want to go out and do so goddamn much with myself.

"But please don’t mistake miles traveled, and money earned, and fame accumulated for who you are.

Because now I understand how the miraculous, horrifying and memorable lurk everywhere. But they’re hidden to the kind of person I was when I graduated high school. And now – and it’s because of my traveling and living and some pretty profound mistakes along the way – they’re all laid open to me. They’re mine for the feasting. In the Sistine Chapel and in a Taco Bell. In Bach’s Goldberg Variations and in the half-heard brain dead chatter of a woman on her cell phone behind me on an airplane. In Baghdad, Berlin and Sterling, Virginia.

I think now about the amazing thunderstorms in the summer evenings. And how – late at night, during a blizzard, you can stand outside and hear the collective, thumping murmur of a million snowflakes hitting the earth, like you’re inside a sleeping god’s thoughts.

I think of the zombie movies I shot back in the gnarled, grey woods and the sad, suburban punks I waited on at Waxie Maxie’s. I think of the disastrous redneck weddings I deejay’d for when I was working for Sounds Unlimited and the Lego spaceships my friends and I would build after seeing Star Wars.

I think about my dad, and how he consoled me when I’d first moved to L.A. and called him, saying I was going into therapy for depression, and how ashamed I was. And he laughed and said, “What the hell’s to be ashamed of?” And I said, “Man, you got your leg machine-gunned in Vietnam. You never went to therapy. Humphrey Bogart never went to therapy.” And my dad said, “Yeah, but Bogie smoked three cartons of cigarettes a day.” And how my mom came down to the kitchen when I was studying for my trig final, at 2 o’clock in the morning, and said, “Haven’t you already been accepted to college?” And I said, “Yeah, but this test is really going to be hard.” And she asked, “What’s the test for again?” And I said, “Calculus” and she closed my notebook and said, “You’ll never use this. Ever. Go to bed or watch a movie.” And how when I got my first ever acting gig, on Seinfeld, my brother sent me a postcard of Minnie Pearl, and he wrote on it, “Never forget, you and her are in the same profession.”

I didn’t realize how all of these places and people and events were just as crucial in shaping me as anything I roamed to the corners of the Earth to see. And they’ve shaped you, and will shape you, whether you realize it now or later. All of you are richer and wiser than you know."

"Reputation, Posterity and Cool are traps. They’ll drain the life from your life. Reputation, Posterity and Cool = Fear. "

Sorry to quote a third of the entire speech, but those bits really hit me hard. So, please, let me hear yours.

[ErikNielsen]

I've mentioned this one on the board before, I'm sure. It's really stuck with me. Steve Martin:

"The consistent work enhanced my act. I learned a lesson: it was easy to be great. Every entertainer has a night when everything is clicking. These nights are accidental and statistical: like lucky cards in poker, you can count on them occurring over time. What was hard was to be good, consistently good, night after night, no matter what the circumstances."

[Shauno]

Pete Holmes's advice at the end of his episode of Making It really stuck to me recently, so much so that I roughly transcribed it in my phone. Here it is in case you guys don't feel like listening to it.

"You have to get on stage as much as possible. You can't just read a book or take a class. Go to an open mic and just watch, it's not as scary as you think it is. Don't stop when it gets awkward and weird and you hit a wall, you just have to keep performing and know that somewhere in your brain it's stretching and somewhere in your brain you're getting better at it. Since you're experiencing it in real time it's hard to see the improvement but if you could jump 6 months in the future you'll think 'Holy shit' but when you live those 6 months you'll think 'Yeah I guess I'm a little bit better'. You're a lot better, keep going, keep doing it and keep watching it. Just do it as much as possible. Hang out with people that are better than you. Those guys who suck hang out with other people who suck. Hang out with the guys that are doing really well. Ask them what shows they're doing, find the guy who's just a couple steps ahead of you."

[nixonjames]

I've been told I need to listen to that Pete Holmes podcast and that's a pretty strong indicator I should actually listen to that episode.

A word on getting up all the time and sort've stuff I've learned from the Patton Oswalt paraphrase below. I'd argue you need at least 300 live sets to get a feel for what works for you/doesn't and the comfort to really try things you'd had on the back burner. Also get up all the time's unspoken aspect is (write. a lot, whether it's monologue style, storytelling cleaned up after the fact, longer constructed, extended act outs, absurdity, surrealism, etc for the first 2 years most performers should burn WAY more material than you keep. - @Erik I'm going to exclude your style of comic which I feel has such strong joke writing skills they 'jump' in front of the folks who will excel in other categories -

Couple of things. In the Q&A of Patton's bookreading in Boston one of my other bout a year in friends who do comedy asked I'm 1 1/2 years in do you have anything to help?guide? etc. His answer was twofold. (I'm paraphrasing) 1. Get up as much as you can and go see the best comedians you can. 2. Appreciate it. Try everything! There's no industry and you can literally try as many types of ways of making people laugh as possible. He wished he could still do that but 'once you make it' you're going to be pigeonholed on some level. So rather than struggle with the identity crisis and questioning just push forward and do everything you can think of.

I'm also constantly reminded of Seinfeld's comments in the film "Comedian" about how a comedian's maturity level is equal to the number of years they've been active in it. So when I hear 1 comic who's a year in telling another comic who's 1 month in I picture a baby saying 'Cah mah dee' to a baby that can't support it's head who just shit itself.

For anyone needing the gumption to get on stage, this quote helped push me over my fear and anxiety.
"How long will it take me to master the piano?
-The same amount of time as if you don't."

[nixonjames]

Also inspiring was the sportscenter feature about the marathon runner chick who has a skin disease which makes you feel like you're always on fire. So she runs marathons in the excruciating pain of that disease (made worse by heat, wear, and dehydration) to show the fortitude of the will each and every one of us possess.

And I can't freewrite a couple of pages a day? hahaha Fuck ya I can!

[Cameron]

[Cupid Stunt]

'Writer's block is for amateurs' - Charles Schulz