Paying Your Dues: I Think It Should Be A Metaphor

[Me, The JerBear]

Recently I've been 'invited' to play at a few different shows. Only after I accepted the 'invites' do I find out that these were pay-to-play bringer 'contests'. Is $35 too much money to pay to enter a 'contest' where the 'contestants' are required to promote the show and sell the tickets? Is $10-$20 too much? I certainly think so.

I knew going into it when I restarted my comedy career that my 3+ years of experience I had accrued in the nineties meant jack squat but I just cannot wrap my head around the idea of paying for stagetime. Now granted I never got big or famous and I only got up to MC level, but I sure as hell wouldn't have even considered paying some wannabe pimp to perform. One of these bringer barons took over the open mic of what was formerly my home club. This place used to be really, really comic friendly and I was looking forward to going back until I got his email that explained all the rules, regulations, prices, fees, and duties involved in getting on their stage and telling jokes. I was blown away by the tone and the audacity of it all. If you wanted to start doing stand-up in that town at that club you had to fork over a $35 'entry fee', but that goes toward prize money and production cost. The prizes? The top 3 (of 18!) contestants get their entry fees paid for the next contest, in which the fees are apparently going up to $50. Oh, and the production cost? How much is Yahoo charging for email these days? I dread getting the bill for this post. The rest of the rules section is this long winded, poorly edited bunch of bullshit that explains how it is the comics' sacred responsibility to bring people into the club and how all the big name comics like Dane Cook, Dane Cook, Ron White, and Dane Cook use myface to market the show to get butts in seats. Dane Cook does it, so why do you think YOU shouldn't have to bring people in and pay fees and while you're at it go ahead and clean the toilets. Ok maybe that last bit was a harsh exaggeration, but my dissatisfaction is justified.

I found out that a musical type showcase I was 'invited' to play in because 'we never get any comedians' is also a bringer contest, but the fees are different. Solo acts only have to pay $10, duos $15, and 3 or mores only have to pay $20. One lucky winner will win studio time! And at the bottom of the flier (at least it was more than an email) it said Drug Free Show. Aw hell no! That's where the line gets drawn. I ain't doing this shit sober.

I don't mind driving a thousand miles to do a shitty set in a shitty club in a wet, stinky town. I don't mind bombing ten times in a row until I get the wording of a set up just right. I don't mind rejection. I don't mind paying my dues. I just think it should be a metaphor and not actual dues.

If it is hubris to refuse to pay to perform then I will gladly accept that assessment. I never had a chance anyway.





Me, The JerBear

[CodyK]

I wouldn't do it. Sounds like a f***ing rip.

[scamboogah]

Way to take a stand.

[CarolineEAnd]

That sounds terrible! I'd never do it. They should WANT you to perform at their clubs, and if not, go do some open-mics (which should never be more than 5 dollars, max). Or stand-up on the street corners and do your comedy. That's awful man, sounds like a total scam.

[Me, The JerBear]

Yeah even Mrs. JerBear knows what bullshit that is. Today she told me she was proud of me for taking a stand, which is indicative of how absolutely BALLIN! she is. It's good to have someone in your corner.

The scene wasn't exactly comic friendly a decade ago but these events are scandalously predatory, in my humblest. Back when I ran a semi-open comedy show I would split the profit evenly with the comics unless I booked a headliner, then we still split the profits after the headliner got their pay. I tried to put on a decent show in an alt venue with up and coming comedians, some of whom got their first comedy paychecks from my silly little comedy show. We're not talking about vast sums of money of course, but my point is this: I wasn't doing it for the money. I was doing to promote the artform and keep it alive and breathing in a small part of the world.

These fuckers are killing it.







And Scammers, thanks for the positive words

We all know that since I'm not playing in their toll-operated sandbox that it will stop the practice all together.

[aenemaTron]

I'm just amazed that it's turning out you're a real person after all.

[GonzaloCordova]

Where do you live that that's there's not other free open mics? I'd suggest asking comics if there are some mics that aren't advertised online. A lot of places in NY charge $5 to go up, but I would never pay more than that, and I think almost every other place in the country is free.

I'm not a big fan of bringers in general. It seems like unless there isn't a whole lot of reward for what you are giving the venue (tons of cash).

I would never pay more than $5 to ever perform anywhere, ever. Also, if you are a comedian who is doing this every night, it is not your responsibility to bring in a ton of friends in every time you perform- that's impossible to do for an entire career. That sounds like bullshit to me.

[nixonjames]

This is one of my favorite things about Boston. While I'm not on the feature list yet and still just doing open mics... unlike the list I've seen of nyc mics I don't know of an open mic (cept maybe a more professional one) that requires anyone to pay.

Seems to be a very nurturing if not any less cliquish but at least I can get up for free almost any night of the week.

The deviousness you describe though... it's just taking advantage of people's desire to move forward. There are rumors here that a certain club owner is particularly unruly and easily angered into banning someone for life. Sort of the same thing... there's always some desperate new comic who's willing to pay what you're not.

At least the illegal immigrants don't come here to do stand-up?

[GonzaloCordova]

It seems like unless there isn't a whole lot of reward for what you are giving the venue (tons of cash).

That is a sentence that makes sense. A LOT!

[scamboogah]

Keep up the fight. Hopefully someday everyone will know that there are unscrupulous people in show business.

I'd love to help, but I'm looking into an email I just got. This guy claims to be a Nigerian Prince, but his web domain is .ka, which I'm pretty sure is Canada. Nice try, Prince Mbah a Moute...

[ASR]

Yeah even Mrs. JerBear knows what bullshit that is. Today she told me she was proud of me for taking a stand,

Scammy is Mrs. JerBear?!

[James Smann]

Jer! Good on you for standing up to that utter bullshit! I was in a rock band for about 10 years, never really got a huge following or whatever, but we got so far as to get our jank on iTunes, had management, etc. we played some pretty cool venues and were able to tour the west coast southwest pretty frequently. One thing we learned very early on is that pay-to-play sucks. I know on some level the promoter could say "Well, if your band/you don't draw well enough I lose money on this" and that's fine and dandy and all, but fuck that shit. How do they expect you to build a draw/fan base if you don't get on bills and perform? I can tell you from years of hard-experience that even your most loyal friends will stop going to gigs after awhile, so it's on you and the venue promoter to get asses in the doors.

At this juncture I refuse to pay money to any venue owner/operator to perform at their place unless I'm getting a cut of the money people pay in cover charges/drinks/whatever back. It's the most fair and equitable balance of contributions. We did one pay to play gig in our 10 year run...it was the Whiskey. We basically bought tickets from them, guaranteeing certain numbers of people and were on the hook for whatever tickets we didn't sell. It was okay because we sold the shit out of the tickets and actually met our future manager that night; but we never did it again...

Yay for standing up for your artistic integrity Jer!

[Me, The JerBear]

There are definitely other places to play. I just really wanted to play there again.

A con man knows a con man and this guy's email set off my spidey sense worse than the get-a-rich-erect-penis-soon emails like Scampers was lampooning. It happens I guess.

And aenematron, thank you for your cleverly worded compliment. I think. Pray tell, what exactly was it that indicated my possibly human status?

[pixel revolt]

At this juncture I refuse to pay money to any venue owner/operator to perform at their place unless I'm getting a cut of the money people pay in cover charges/drinks/whatever back. It's the most fair and equitable balance of contributions. We did one pay to play gig in our 10 year run...it was the Whiskey. We basically bought tickets from them, guaranteeing certain numbers of people and were on the hook for whatever tickets we didn't sell. It was okay because we sold the shit out of the tickets and actually met our future manager that night; but we never did it again...

That pay-to-play deal with the Whiskey is a joke. It's something like you have to sell 75 tickets for $10 each, so they're basically making $750 from 5-7 bands to play some shitty Monday night show. Regardless if the show is packed or empty the Whiskey collects as if it were a sold out house. The reason I know all this is because my teenage brother's band over zealously signed one of their contracts and I had to drive down there and remind them that 16 year old's can't sign ludicrous contracts.

[BrandonVaughn]

sounds weak. no way, man.

[Me, The JerBear]

On a positive note, the guy who invited me to play in the musical showcase talked to me today and said he really, REALLY wanted me to play in his show. I told him there was just no way I would pay to play anywhere and he said 'Oh no YOU don't have to pay anything. I want you to open up the show. And you don't have to be sober we just put that on the promo materials to keep the cops happy.'

Sweet.

[Me, The JerBear]

And a follow up to that showcase: I was declared the winner by default. Ha!

And I got another cool email telling me how uncool I would be if I missed out on this special open mic. Is this shit for real?

Just what exactly do I have to do to 'earn' my entry fee?

New Dates act now don't be left out

Monday, December 28, 2009 6:48 PM

From:
This sender is DomainKeys verified"Wade Cardwell" <loandr4u@yahoo.com>
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To:
"Wade" <loandr4u@yahoo.com>


Hey Folkz...

Hope all of ya are having a fun Christmas Season!!!

I have new dates for the contest. I promised the ppl who were in the last PLAY IN CONTEST in The Grill they would get first notice. Because they came and played nice over 1 spot for the Nov 25 show...they deserved it... and they had that chance last week.

NOW it is your turn!!!

One date Feb 18, 2010 is already filled.

That leaves March 17, April 1 & April 25th and some of the spots in those shows are filled.

To you get your spot with NO HASSLE of hoping some one will Flake OUT!!! Call the box office Tuesday 12-2:30 and ask for GM Jerry 423-629-2233

Same deal as last season. I will send out more details but I wanting to get you this info cause I WANT YOU in the contest. PLEASE DON'T DICK around. The demand for this contest was so HIGH, like I said, last season that 14 ppl showed up to try to win ONE SPOT!!! I don't want you to have to do that.

I will go REALLY WIDE with Mass EMAILS and Message Boards next week so here is your chance NOW!!!

If you know a better contest:

Where somebody that actually booked a room for 25 years is a judge and is looking for talent.

IS at a LEGEND of CLUB. Everybody in comedy wants to come work this room. Not many clubs been in biz 25 years.

Where the other judges are IN THE BIZ and have HIRED ppl from the contest to go on the road.

Where the Producer & MC REALLY wants to find NEW Talent and does not try to hog the spot light. I GET PAID when they hire talent found in the contest. I WANT YOU TO DO GREAT!!!

Where can get a BETTER Value with your time. We have all driven HOURS for 5 minutes and were NEVER seen by any one WHO MATTERS!! National Touring Features are signing up just to get SEEN!!!

If you know a BETTER contest I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT!!!

I do not think is exist and I think this is the MAGIC FORMULA of why this contest as filled up and been sold out the last 3 seasons.

Call tomorrow 423-629-2233 and come out and play this years.

Jan 23rd will be the first show in the grill. We will have a seminar that day lead by Big Ed Caylor who actually tours nationally and has hired ppl to go on the road with him and has helped ppl in the contest GET HIRED!! More details on that later but if you are interested let me know!!!

Thanks again to ALL of you for helping make Southeastern Funny People Search such a Great Success.

Let's have ALOT of FUN in 2010!!

Cheers... Wade

PS. OH everything same as last season...

1.) $50 Entry Fee (Goes to Prize Pay outs) and you get $100 worth of ticz.
2.) 7 minutes sets
3.) First come first served on show dates.
4.) Winner get 1 week PAID featuring and usually many more opportunities.
5.) If anybody has a money issue let me know I have ways for you to earn your entry fee.

[AlienGremlin]

This entire thread makes my brain fizzle into a smallish cinder of amazement. I suddenly feel lucky over my illustrious career of a couple months to have been in cities capable of supporting open mics that aren't run by slapdick retards who feel like they don't make enough money off the watered down jim beam and instead decide to bilk the talent. Run-on sentences are important btw.

I got a fantastic piece of advice the other day, write at least one joke to inspire drink buying. Not shilling pray tell, but writing a YOU joke suggesting such a conclusion. If they see you trying to help their business, they like. If they like, they want you to perform and can thus go fuck their fees. Having written that out, that sounds like shilling. I'm going to go drink until I don't know the difference anymore again.