I am new here let me know what do you think

Alchemic · January 26, 2010, 6:21 PM

There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day for the past 10 years.

I have read somewhere that to extend the foreplay you should start thinking about something none sexual as soon you start feeling like you are ready to POP!. I tried, I thought of my ex having sex with her current boyfriend. I know … but at the moment that was the least sexual thing I could come up with. That was three months ago and I didn’t have orgasm since.
IT WORKS !

I saw my roommate picking up dogs shit of the basement floor with cooking spatula. I wonder if that was the first time when he did that? I used that spatula an hour before that to make my scrambled eggs...

People think that I am unhappy because I don’t smile much. The truth is that I don’t smile allot because I have huge under bite I mean Joe Leno have nothing on me. When I smile my nose disappears behind my incisors and my canines are right in my eyes. It looks like I am biting my own forehead and my speech sounds like a gargle when it rains.

Guys let me know what do you think? I need to admit I am totally new to that comedy think and I have no clue what I am doing. Right I am just reading allot and watching tons of stand up on youtube. I did sign up for open mice already just to keep me motivated I have 4 weeks from now to get ready.

Hated Milk Machine · January 26, 2010, 6:43 PM

you're fine, but that dog sounds sassy as hell! get him to an open mice, STAT!

CaptainBreakfast · January 26, 2010, 6:44 PM

Write again. Also, put that here:
Help us with our jokes

scamboogah · January 26, 2010, 6:49 PM

Is Joe Leno really known for his overbite?

Alchemic · January 26, 2010, 6:51 PM

Quote:

Is Joe Leno really known for his overbite?

How about Quentin Tarantino?

Alchemic · January 26, 2010, 6:54 PM

There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day... for the past 10 years.
I also have great credentials I am Polish

I've added a follow up

CarolineEAnd · January 26, 2010, 7:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alchemic

There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day... for the past 10 years.
I also have great credentials I am Polish

I've added a follow up

It sounds really hack to me, but the best advice is to tell it on stage and see what the response is. Maybe your performance of it takes away the hack element.

scamboogah · January 26, 2010, 7:11 PM

Change your name to 'Dr. Pepper' and start your bit with, "I don't know where to start or where to begin..."

RoyalDutchOfDukes · January 26, 2010, 7:18 PM

Do more bits about monster trucks

beccaBeccaBECCA · January 26, 2010, 7:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scamboogah

Change your name to 'Dr. Pepper' and start your bit with, "I don't know where to start or where to begin..."

Ha!

+5 internets to you.

SPAS-12 · January 26, 2010, 7:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alchemic

People think that I am unhappy because I don’t smile much. The truth is that I don’t smile allot because I have huge overbite I mean Joe Leno have nothing on me. When I smile my nose disappears behind my incisors and my canines are right in my eyes. It looks like I am biting my own forehead.

I think you're talking about an underbite, not an overbite.

Brian J. · January 26, 2010, 9:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alchemic

I saw my roommate picking up dogs shit of the basement floor with cooking spatula. I wonder if that was the first time when he did that? I used that spatula an hour before that to make my scrambled eggs...

Change the last line to: I used that spatula an hour LATER to make my scrambled eggs... and you've got yourself a punchline.

RoyalDutchOfDukes · January 26, 2010, 9:09 PM

See, Gravedigger fans be like this, whereas Bigfoot fans be like THIS

Alchemic · January 26, 2010, 9:12 PM

I guess I have to start over. Well I did not expect it to be easy.

Caroline

Quote:

It sounds really hack to me, but the best advice is to tell it on stage and see what the response is. Maybe your performance of it takes away the hack element.

When I think of it yes it does sounds like a hack. Maybe because Polish jokes are so popular that they became a cliche. But I could use that to my advantage and try flip the carts on audience.

SPAS-12

Quote:

I think you're talking about an underbite, not an overbite.

Correct again it would be underbite.

suavepebble · January 27, 2010, 2:25 AM

Alchemic sort of reminds me of me when I was 19 and completely wasted on booze. You have something very important going for you: balls. Keep your head up, stay away from the filths and the fire and the naysayers and you'll be okay.

Mack Luster · January 27, 2010, 4:44 AM

The part about booking "open mice" has piqued my interest. In what ways are they open, and what did you book them to do? Might you have video of it?

Alchemic · January 27, 2010, 11:54 AM

Quote:

The part about booking "open mice" has piqued my interest. In what ways are they open, and what did you book them to do? Might you have video of it?

I meant I already sign up for one 4 weeks in advance. I figured if you have a deadline you tend to work harder.

Mack Luster · January 27, 2010, 4:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alchemic

I meant I already sign up for one 4 weeks in advance. I figured if you have a deadline you tend to work harder.

What is your first language?

aenemaTron · January 27, 2010, 5:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mack Luster

What is your first language?

Read the thread.

Alchemic · January 27, 2010, 5:52 PM

Quote:

What is your first language?

I am Polish. I am sorry for my grammar. At times I just don't pay attention to it.

January 26, 2010, 6:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Alchemic Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Troy MI Posts: 6	I am new here let me know what do you think There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day for the past 10 years. I have read somewhere that to extend the foreplay you should start thinking about something none sexual as soon you start feeling like you are ready to POP!. I tried, I thought of my ex having sex with her current boyfriend. I know … but at the moment that was the least sexual thing I could come up with. That was three months ago and I didn’t have orgasm since. IT WORKS ! I saw my roommate picking up dogs shit of the basement floor with cooking spatula. I wonder if that was the first time when he did that? I used that spatula an hour before that to make my scrambled eggs... People think that I am unhappy because I don’t smile much. The truth is that I don’t smile allot because I have huge under bite I mean Joe Leno have nothing on me. When I smile my nose disappears behind my incisors and my canines are right in my eyes. It looks like I am biting my own forehead and my speech sounds like a gargle when it rains. Guys let me know what do you think? I need to admit I am totally new to that comedy think and I have no clue what I am doing. Right I am just reading allot and watching tons of stand up on youtube. I did sign up for open mice already just to keep me motivated I have 4 weeks from now to get ready. __________________ There is nothing funny about a day that went right. Last edited by Alchemic; January 27, 2010 at 12:04 PM.

January 26, 2010, 6:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
Hated Milk Machine Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 711	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think you're fine, but that dog sounds sassy as hell! get him to an open mice, STAT!

January 26, 2010, 6:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
CaptainBreakfast Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Portland Posts: 652 Blog Entries: 2	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think Write again. Also, put that here: Help us with our jokes

January 26, 2010, 6:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
scamboogah Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Go to Frisco and bang a right Posts: 5,000	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think Is Joe Leno really known for his overbite? __________________ If things aren't going well, show them your stomach. Then hump the stool. Do you want to be rich or what?

January 26, 2010, 6:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
Alchemic Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Troy MI Posts: 6	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day... for the past 10 years. I also have great credentials I am Polish I've added a follow up __________________ There is nothing funny about a day that went right.

January 26, 2010, 7:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
scamboogah Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Go to Frisco and bang a right Posts: 5,000	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think Change your name to 'Dr. Pepper' and start your bit with, "I don't know where to start or where to begin..." __________________ If things aren't going well, show them your stomach. Then hump the stool. Do you want to be rich or what?
	1 members liked this post.

January 26, 2010, 7:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
RoyalDutchOfDukes Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 383	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think Do more bits about monster trucks

January 26, 2010, 9:09 PM	#13 (permalink)
RoyalDutchOfDukes Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 383	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think See, Gravedigger fans be like this, whereas Bigfoot fans be like THIS

January 27, 2010, 2:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
suavepebble Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,041	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think Alchemic sort of reminds me of me when I was 19 and completely wasted on booze. You have something very important going for you: balls. Keep your head up, stay away from the filths and the fire and the naysayers and you'll be okay.
	1 members liked this post.

January 27, 2010, 4:44 AM	#16 (permalink)
Mack Luster Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 147	Re: I am new here let me know what do you think The part about booking "open mice" has piqued my interest. In what ways are they open, and what did you book them to do? Might you have video of it?

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