I am new here let me know what do you think

[Alchemic]

There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day for the past 10 years.

I have read somewhere that to extend the foreplay you should start thinking about something none sexual as soon you start feeling like you are ready to POP!. I tried, I thought of my ex having sex with her current boyfriend. I know … but at the moment that was the least sexual thing I could come up with. That was three months ago and I didn’t have orgasm since.
IT WORKS !

I saw my roommate picking up dogs shit of the basement floor with cooking spatula. I wonder if that was the first time when he did that? I used that spatula an hour before that to make my scrambled eggs...


People think that I am unhappy because I don’t smile much. The truth is that I don’t smile allot because I have huge under bite I mean Joe Leno have nothing on me. When I smile my nose disappears behind my incisors and my canines are right in my eyes. It looks like I am biting my own forehead and my speech sounds like a gargle when it rains.


Guys let me know what do you think? I need to admit I am totally new to that comedy think and I have no clue what I am doing. Right I am just reading allot and watching tons of stand up on youtube. I did sign up for open mice already just to keep me motivated I have 4 weeks from now to get ready.

[Hated Milk Machine]

you're fine, but that dog sounds sassy as hell! get him to an open mice, STAT!

[CaptainBreakfast]

Write again. Also, put that here:
Help us with our jokes

[scamboogah]

Is Joe Leno really known for his overbite?

[Alchemic]

Is Joe Leno really known for his overbite?

How about Quentin Tarantino?

[Alchemic]

There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day... for the past 10 years.
I also have great credentials I am Polish

I've added a follow up

[CarolineEAnd]

Originally Posted by Alchemic

There is nothing funny about a day when everything went right. I figure - I just may be great at that comedy thing. I had extremely fucked up day... for the past 10 years.
I also have great credentials I am Polish

I've added a follow up

It sounds really hack to me, but the best advice is to tell it on stage and see what the response is. Maybe your performance of it takes away the hack element.

[scamboogah]

Change your name to 'Dr. Pepper' and start your bit with, "I don't know where to start or where to begin..."

[RoyalDutchOfDukes]

Do more bits about monster trucks

[beccaBeccaBECCA]

Originally Posted by scamboogah

Change your name to 'Dr. Pepper' and start your bit with, "I don't know where to start or where to begin..."

Ha!

+5 internets to you.

[SPAS-12]

Originally Posted by Alchemic

People think that I am unhappy because I don’t smile much. The truth is that I don’t smile allot because I have huge overbite I mean Joe Leno have nothing on me. When I smile my nose disappears behind my incisors and my canines are right in my eyes. It looks like I am biting my own forehead.

I think you're talking about an underbite, not an overbite.

[Brian J.]

Originally Posted by Alchemic

I saw my roommate picking up dogs shit of the basement floor with cooking spatula. I wonder if that was the first time when he did that? I used that spatula an hour before that to make my scrambled eggs...

Change the last line to: I used that spatula an hour LATER to make my scrambled eggs... and you've got yourself a punchline.

[RoyalDutchOfDukes]

See, Gravedigger fans be like this, whereas Bigfoot fans be like THIS

[Alchemic]

I guess I have to start over. Well I did not expect it to be easy.

Caroline

It sounds really hack to me, but the best advice is to tell it on stage and see what the response is. Maybe your performance of it takes away the hack element.

When I think of it yes it does sounds like a hack. Maybe because Polish jokes are so popular that they became a cliche. But I could use that to my advantage and try flip the carts on audience.

SPAS-12

I think you're talking about an underbite, not an overbite.

Correct again it would be underbite.

[suavepebble]

Alchemic sort of reminds me of me when I was 19 and completely wasted on booze. You have something very important going for you: balls. Keep your head up, stay away from the filths and the fire and the naysayers and you'll be okay.

[Mack Luster]

The part about booking "open mice" has piqued my interest. In what ways are they open, and what did you book them to do? Might you have video of it?

[Alchemic]

The part about booking "open mice" has piqued my interest. In what ways are they open, and what did you book them to do? Might you have video of it?

I meant I already sign up for one 4 weeks in advance. I figured if you have a deadline you tend to work harder.

[Mack Luster]

Originally Posted by Alchemic

I meant I already sign up for one 4 weeks in advance. I figured if you have a deadline you tend to work harder.

What is your first language?

[aenemaTron]

Originally Posted by Mack Luster

What is your first language?

Read the thread.

[Alchemic]

What is your first language?

I am Polish. I am sorry for my grammar. At times I just don't pay attention to it.