How to tell an open mic'r to stop what he's doing

[Just Brett]

So I've worked my ass off the past 6 months getting a weekly open mic night set up in my town and keeping people interested in checking out local talent. This past month, there has been a nasssty open mic'r come in and do about 10 minutes of horrible, low brow stuff. Talking about child abduction, incest, rape, violence... for 10 long painful minutes. The show is your typical open mic... some good sets, some bad, but after he goes up, there is an awful funk in the air and it petrifies the audience. It's really awkward for the next comic going up (which I know from experience) I've let it go to long, and I don't want that sort of stuff up there. I want to tell him to either quit showing up, or tell new stuff. I have no problem with Blue Material, but I seriously think he's mentally deranged and I'm afraid of how he'll respond.

Or do I just say fuck it and let the show go on? He seems to get off on the fact that he's freaked out the audience.

Go.

[pg13]

How to tell an open mic'r to stop what he's doing

Man up and do it.

pg--BAM!--pacific northwest

[Just Brett]

I just don't know how to treat these types of situations. I mean, who am I to tell someone what they can or can't do? I've only been at this a little under a year, and I'm still learning the ropes as far as putting together a show goes.

[pg13]

All right, fine...real answer.

First...this is one danger of working on putting an "open mic" together--it assumes a certain lack of quality control versus getting some comedy friends together to build a "workout room" for yourselves and selected others.

In fact, the trainwreck potential of an open mic is, for some, part of the appeal of going, as an audience member... "I could see ANYTHING at that open mic... Good...bad...fucking weird...anything!"

So, my first question to you is...how have you advertised this? Have you made a big deal about how "anyone can sign up"? If you have...well, then, you've made your bed..someone is shitting in the bed...and you'd have to admit either a mistake or some hypocrisy not to lie in it.

Second...it is YOUR show. No one, not even your advertising...not even an overconfident advice giver on a comedy message board...can make you do something you do don't want to do. If you don't want to give this guy some of your stage time...don't. Stage time is not an inalienable right guaranteed to us in the Constitution...it is a gift that you're offering...and it's up to you if that gift comes with strings.

You've just got to man up and take a stand. If you're intimidated, get a couple of other comedians who feel the same way you do...and basically follow the "intervention" handbook.

Third...you could put him up last. Take a negative and make it a feature.

"Tonight, we've got 18 comics...and one guy who will say the most vile and evil things you can imagine."

"Buckle up...only five comics left before this night gets very weird."

"Our final comedian...not for the weak of heart, or the easily offended... Don't judge us, judge his parents...here's (insert name here)"

This way, it's not really a reward...but it isn't forcing you to ostracize one person because you don't like what they do on an open mic. (And it doesn't force you to justify all the other bits by the other comedians when the guy you tell to stop reacts defensively...)

Fourth...if you DO talk to him, I recommend pulling him aside--not during the show, but at a time where he's not thinking about the set he's going to do...when you can each talk without having to fight over bar noise--and speaking to him professionally.

Let him know that you understand that comedy pretty much allows anyone to say anything...but that this is YOUR show and YOU are responsible for what happens...and that YOU are making the decision to take him out of the rotation, because YOU feel it isn't the show that YOU want to present.

Tell him to take a month off...and come up with new stuff. Tell him that you'll give him another try after a month (and I'd put him up last just in case) and if he's doing stuff that you're ok with, he'll be invited back...and if not, it'll be another month before they can come back and get on the list.

And tell him "three strikes and you're out for good."

And fifth, it might be a good time to write out what you expect from all of the comics that go up...so no one feels blindsided or singled out. Let people know that the night IS there for them to learn how to do good comedy, that they can make mistakes...but that you do expect SOME effort...and that some decisions will need to be made for the betterment of the show and the others on the show.

But the bottom line is...it's your show. No one has a gun to your head forcing you to put them up.

Unless they do, actually. In THAT case...you give them stage time and while they're on stage, you call the police.

pg--And then move.--pacific northwest

[TomHicks]

I always wondered what happened to Jordy Fox.

[iantherage]

I really like PG's third option, to put him up last, and sort of build him up, while also directly telling the audience what they're in for. This also let's HIM know that's how he is being perceieved, while still allowing him to go up, and screw himself over.

However, that COULD come across as passive aggressive, and since this guy sounds potentially unstable, then that might not be good. Honestly, I know I would prefer to be approached in private, directly, with specific examples of audience reactions, and perhaps having some quotes from audience members at the ready, kinda like ammunition if he gets defensive.

If it was me, then I think I would be hurt, but open to hearing the feedback, ya know? I probabaly would get defensive at first, but then I would think about it. He probabaly thinks he's really clever. Smarter than the audience or something.

In the end, it's gonna be akward no matter how you slice it. Once you do it, it's dealt with though, and you'll feel relieved! Keep us updated with what you decide to do!

[mikemayberry]

I have been put last at a few open mics I attended regularly, and I know why. I never had a problem with it. I have also been banned from an open mic, and I took that as a huge ego boost.

I guess what I am saying is that you never know how people will take it.

It is unfair to other comics to put him up early and let him do his thing. Tell him he can go earlier if he is cleaner. It is also bullshit to ban him from an OPEN mic.

[Vercetti]

Mike, you got banned? What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

[Cupid Stunt]

switch to an online sign up.

[Vercetti]

To answer the question...I think it's just a matter of saying "Hey, look, you're disturbing people and making it harder for the other comics to follow you. Would you mind dialing it down a notch?" He's gonna have to learn how to do this eventually, anyway, if he wants to get work. If he gives you any grief then feel free to swing the axe.

Putting him up last would work, too, though. That's probably what I'd most likely do.

[Just Brett]

Ok, thanks for the advice gang. This week i'm gonna put him last. After the show I'm gonna tell him to tone it down.

AST fucking rocks.

[nixonjames]

Well I think most everyone has spoken everything but I'll speak to one thing.

You mentioned that you don't feel like you have any clout to put him in his place, expcept that you do, you run the room. I would probably start by telling him he needs to stick to time and plan on being the one to eat 2-3min after he goes up so it's better for the real 'next' person.

I've also seen the hold for last tactic employed very well. There's a homeless guy that comes to an open mic in Boston now 'n then. The Host when I've seen that guy there makes a thing of how the homeless guy will close the room. And that's way better than having him go up earlier then making the comics after him watch as he puts the mic in his mouth then beats his forehead with it until it bleeds (yes this happened).

I'd probably talk to him about time first. If he's seriously deranged you're gonna be stuck holding him as a headliner and making a gag out of his whole set before he gets up. If he's not... then he'll probably get stronger with time and work out some new material.

I might even ask him if he has stuff not about rape cuz you thought he had potential. You'll be amazed how people will respond if you give them something positive to go on.

[pg13]

Didn't even mention controlling people going over time.

Tex is right--you set the rules. If you aren't going to keep people to their time, then everyone will walk all over you.

If you want people to stick to their times, then rigidly enforce everyone's time. Use a stopwatch. Use an actual light--not just a cellphone being held up. Make certain everyone knows what your policy is and what the light means.

(At the open mic at the Comedy Underground, Seattle, the light goes on one minute before your maximum time...stays on for that entire minute...if the light goes off, you've done too much time. Do anything more than a quick wrap up after the light goes off and they turn the volume down on your microphone and play music, usually something embarrassing, over you... It works.)

Also know that nothing forces you to give everyone the same amount of time, either. At ACME in Minneapolis, their open mic is very clear--new people get 3 minutes, people with some experience and talent get 5 minutes, people with a lot of experience who will likely do very well get 7 minutes and maybe one or two people get 10 minutes. It takes some confidence to decide who gets what--which is why a lot of open mics DO make it one standard length of time for everyone--but it is an option to consider.

pg--Open mics are usually endless anyway, someone going over their time is really a slap in the face to every other performer...and they should be made to feel that way.--pacific northwest

[JayP7]

I kind of have this problem. There's one comic that comes into my mic. He/she (literally I have no clue what gender he or she is and he or she has been coming for 4 or 5 months) says a lot of painful stuff, throws the n-word in for essentially no reason etc etc. Sometimes it IS a good kind of train wreck to watch. Sometimes he/she actually isn't awful. Mostly you have to move past it, make the audience laugh, and get on with the show. I personally don't like to do the 'put em at the end' tactic. If possible I want to end with somebody who kicks ass, I think it reflects better on the show.

I would start with that 10 minutes seems way long for an open-mic. 4-7 is about right. If somebody's kicking ass you can fudge it and give em some rope. If they're doing terrible, appalling, "sink the room" crap you can yank em a bit earlier. 5 minutes of awful isn't all that hard to come back from. One time he/she were doing a very unfunny thinly veiled misogynist rant and I followed with a sarcastic "Keep it going for XYZ...Yeah, fuck those bitches!" It took 3 seconds and the crowd was back in, one of my prouder hosting moments. You just need to make them realize it's not a reflection on the show and you're right with them in the "Yeah, that was pretty weird right? Alright, let's get back to some comedy".

But like said, you can do whatever you want. Even if you think it makes you look like a douche, if it makes all coming shows better in the long run there's nothing wrong with confronting him and telling him to cut out that nonsense or outright banning him.

[pg13]

I personally don't like to do the 'put em at the end' tactic. If possible I want to end with somebody who kicks ass, I think it reflects better on the show.

Depends on how your open mic runs--if it runs to a normal length of time and audience members are consistently staying throughout the entire show, then I agree with you.

However, many open mics seem to drag on endlessly...and few, if any, audience members last the entire time. If you're running one of those 2 1/2 to 4 hour (or more) kind of open mics, then it doesn't matter as much who closes the show, as it would on a tightly controlled, shorter show.

In fact, in the longer open mics...it helps to put stronger people up earlier--to give the show a chance--and to protect the least experienced performers by always putting up a veteran before or after them, to at least give THEM a chance...

At least by having your problem people at the end, they don't ruin the entire show...

(But, as I pointed out in when I made the suggestion earlier in the thread--"putting him up last" is only one possible option to dealing with things... Not every circumstance is the same and you've got figure out what works best for you in yours.)

I would start with that 10 minutes seems way long for an open-mic. 4-7 is about right. If somebody's kicking ass you can fudge it and give em some rope. If they're doing terrible, appalling, "sink the room" crap you can yank em a bit earlier. 5 minutes of awful isn't all that hard to come back from.

The Comedy Underground's Monday night open mic--everyone gets 3 minutes (they get the light at 2 minutes)...so, even the worst performer isn't on stage very long.

(Of course, that makes it nearly worthless to a professional comedian trying to "work on things"--what can you work on in just over two minutes?)

One time he/she were doing a very unfunny thinly veiled misogynist rant and I followed with a sarcastic "Keep it going for XYZ...Yeah, fuck those bitches!" It took 3 seconds and the was back in, one of my prouder hosting moments.

Ugh.

I understand that it may have worked...but ugh nonetheless.

pg--How can you have a regular who performs on your open mic that you don't know what gender they are? Do they have a name? Haven't you ever bothered to talk to the people who perform on your show? You know...a little interpersonal contact can go a long way to helping people "get with the program"... --pacific northwest

[PaulC]

All right, fine...real answer.
Fourth...if you DO talk to him, I recommend pulling him aside--not during the show, but at a time where he's not thinking about the set he's going to do...when you can each talk without having to fight over bar noise--and speaking to him professionally.

Let him know that you understand that comedy pretty much allows anyone to say anything...but that this is YOUR show and YOU are responsible for what happens...and that YOU are making the decision to take him out of the rotation, because YOU feel it isn't the show that YOU want to present.

Tell him to take a month off...and come up with new stuff. Tell him that you'll give him another try after a month (and I'd put him up last just in case) and if he's doing stuff that you're ok with, he'll be invited back...and if not, it'll be another month before they can come back and get on the list.

I ran an open mic in LA for a while and, when my friend and I took it over from the previous host, we inherited a regular who was very similar to the guy you're dealing with. He was clearly mentally unbalanced. He did material that was just vile, borderline hate speech and he would essentially threaten to sexually assault any woman unfortunate enough to be sitting near the stage when he was on. Every time he went up, he killed the mood and momentum of the room. It didn't matter if he went up first or fifteenth or if he only did three minutes, the rest of the night was ruined.

One of the first things my co-host and I did was talk to the guy (basically pg13's 4th option quoted above) and it worked. We pulled the guy aside before a show and told him that his material wasn't right for the room. We were trying create a safe, supportive atmosphere for comics to lean and grow and he was making the room feel decidedly unsafe. He either had to tone it down or find another open mic. The guy threw a hissy fit, threatened to sue us, and stormed out. We never saw him again. Mission accomplished.

Stand up thrives on unfettered free expression, but you're under no obligation to provide a soap box for lunatics. A comedy club wouldn't let that guy on their stage and you don't have to either. You'll still have plenty of hacks, weirdos, and assholes, but there's a clear difference between somebody doing bad comedy and somebody who's actively making it harder for everyone else to do their comedy (good or bad). That latter group has to be dealt with if you want your room to thrive.

[iantherage]

quoting spam

I disagree with probably 80% of what you said, but I appreciate the avante garde farce on internet advertising.

[Me, The JerBear]

At least he had his clothes on, right? It CAN actually get worse, a la theCaptain Pussy episode.

Honesty and candor can go a long way but in the end it's YOUR room so fuck 'em if they don't like it.

Up the butt.



Dignity and Respect
Me, The JerBear

[Just Brett]

I really appreciate all the responses. Until now, I've just being going up hoping he wouldn't be in the audience, but his mere presence throws off my rythym and composure. The funny thing is that I have no problem with assholes and strangers that are giving me shit, but putting together a show and trying to keep everyone happy is hard. Oh well, there is a first time for everything.

Again, thanks for all of the feedback. I'll keep you guys updated on how the intervention goes.

[pg13]

and trying to keep everyone happy is hard.

Who ever said THAT was part of it?

pg--Suffers from the same disease.--rodneykingville