Help us with our jokes

[JManderville]

You could make a joke about Mean Joe Greene's Coke or Refrigerator Perry's BBQ sauce.

[SlyBattery]

"I went to the Magic Johnson Theater to see a movie last week. I walked out on it. They were showing (current movie title). Not exactly what I expected from a theater named after a magical cock."

[Krudler]

I forget whose joke this is (paraphrasing, despite the quotes):

"I used to believe in magic. Then he got AIDS and stopped playing basketball."

You're right, that's not helpful.

[scamboogah]

I think that's Jeselnik.

(I could be wrong)

[Monty]

Give me your thoughts on this joke, im not sure how to end it...:
"I've decided that when i die, i'm going to be cremated, then have my ashes put into a childs pinata."

"...because apparently you have to be dead before it's socially acceptable to pay Mexican children to beat you with sticks."

(optional tag: "Am I right, ladies?")

[PinkieOfDoom]

I'm going to ask first rather than do it:

I'm prepared to do open mics in NYC summer. I've done several shows at my college, but we've only taped the last three shows. Would it be alright to post the videos on here? It would help to see if you guys see any progression in my joke telling? It seems to me that the first taped show is meh, then the second is alright, and the third is my best so far. Plus, you can tell me what you think of the jokes and how they went, plus you can see my delivery, rather than imagine how I deliver them.

[SlyBattery]

I'd say do it. As long as you can deal with the harsh and sometimes completely unhelpful criticisms.

[Krudler]

I agree with SlyBattery. Go ahead and post your faggy videos.

[MJEH]

I'd say do it. As long as you can deal with the harsh and sometimes completely unhelpful criticisms.

So true that most open mic vids are refuted with unctuous and vitriolic verbalisms.

[drbristol]

or how to go back in time far enough to make it relevant or funny.

Magic's Johnson was magic. When he got AIDS, the magic in his johnson got rid of his problem forever.

O.J. has magic gloves and knives.

[PinkieOfDoom]

Ok then. I'll try to post them in order so you can see if you find any improvement... And it will suck, but I appreciate any, negative or positive, comments you have.

[youtube]wMwLKgXHb6A[/youtube]

[youtube]PdASvYqMCW0[/youtube]

[youtube]CkvQCZA_9VE[/youtube]

Interesting fact about video #2: The girls you hear cheering for me got in trouble for getting drunk at the show. And my dean of disabilities was there. That was a fun meeting afterwards.

I've lost weight since the last video, I think...

-edit- I know my hair's all fucked up in the last one, but go ahead if you want.

[SlyBattery]

There is definitely a lot of improvement from the first to the last one. The only thing I was gonna say was try to get to an actual joke quicker (like something that would get laughs) which you did in your last video. Also, you joke about your dad being good at faking his age wasn't much of a joke. Not a bad concept, but it needs a spin of some sort to make it funny. Otherwise, good stuff.

[philly]

I thought of a pretty funny premise for an article: 5 Stages of Finals.
It's relevant right now and I think it has potential for hilarity to ensue.
I was just wondering: How do you think I should format it? I was thinking of doing it as Facebook status updates- but that might be too short and choppy. Perhaps several people updating their statuses? Ideally this would end up on Collegehumor or Cracked.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Phil M

[scamboogah]

I thought of a pretty funny premise for an article: 5 Stages of Finals.
It's relevant right now and I think it has potential for hilarity to ensue.
I was just wondering: How do you think I should format it? I was thinking of doing it as Facebook status updates- but that might be too short and choppy. Perhaps several people updating their statuses? Ideally this would end up on Collegehumor or Cracked.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Phil M

I think you're wrong about it being a funny premise. It provides an opportunity for funny stuff to be done within it, but isn't any funnier on its own than the idea of 'a list of top 10 things', or 'Hey, I know, I'll stand on a stage and tell some jokes'.

[Just Brett]

I just got married last week. I was hoping I could write pages upon pages of jokes about getting married. But I got nothing so far. I guess I got married for the wrong reasons.

[AliasRomanian]

I just got married last week. I was hoping I could write pages upon pages of jokes about getting married. But I got nothing so far. I guess I got married for the wrong reasons.

Thats funny .

[punchdrunkblake]

I'm completely addicted to oxygen. I tried to quit once, but turns out that's just called 'being a bad swimmer'. Plus they say quitting oxygen is a gateway to hope.

And then get all dark on everybody?

(By the way; I love that ashes in a pinata bit.. That really can go anywhere.)

[newmoon804]

i like laugh but dont know how can joke.

[scamboogah]

i like laugh but dont know how can joke.

This sums up AST beautifully.

[iambobbymac]

So heres one i've been trying to get right, but am not sure how to fix it:
"I'm addicted to oxegen... I tried to quit once, the doctor said it was "attempted suicide".

i couldnt come up with a good main-punchline, but as a follow-up. "the problem is, every time i go out to a bar, i end up getting drunk and taking a few breathes."