*highfives all around*
I have my second six months today. The difference between this six months and my first six months is massive. I stopped fighting. I work every day to give up my will, and accept things as they are... not how I want them to be. I also go to meetings 2-3 times a week and have a sponsor. I don't know how else I would do it. Life is too hard to manage when you've never actually dealt with it. It's like taking a time machine from 18 to 34. All of the sudden I have adult problems, but a teenagers skill set for life. Oh well. Getting better every day.
I was at a friend's 30th birthday party last weekend, there were plenty of older people there. His parents, his wife's parents etc. They told my wife afterwards, "He was in such a good mood... he was talking to everyone" She couldn't tell them that I've learned how to be a real person over the past year since I quit drinking. My life is full of stress right now, but I'm honestly one of the most annoyingly happy people I know. I've just found real, sustained happiness for the first time in my life, and it all started with stopping.
I got my 6 month chip today, had a great improv show and came home to a call from a friend who had 2 and a half years and relapsed tonight. He got me into the program and has helped me dozens of times when I was in a pinch. I just spent an hour talking him off a ledge. I fucking hate alcohol. Please reach out for help if you need it.
Congratulations! 126 days here.
Consistent relapsing. A week or so without, then something awful in life happens. About to be forced out of my job within a month if I don't find something else, so I'll probably lose my health insurance. My mom's dying and two of my roommates are moving out so now I have to pay $400 more in rent. Had liver pains the other day. This sucks. Fuck.
"Not the victory but the action. Not the goal but the game. In the deed the glory."
There is a program that is free and has helped me immensely, especially in times of stress. Life never really stops punching you, but there is a different way to deal with it. I used alcohol for years to "fix my problems" and all it did was make things worse. Private message me if you want and we can talk further.
Working Step 12 a little hard there, buddy.
I have also mentioned this before, but ASTer Bucky Sinister's book was an immense help for me when I was struggling with stringing any length of sobriety together. If you are broke and would like to read it, I will get you a copy.
^^ Completely agree. Chad bought the book for me and since then I've recommended it to people. It really is a game changer. I am indebted to Chad!
There are two people in my life who are dive-bombing because of booze.
One is the husband of a friend at a former job. He's been in rehab twice but keeps relapsing. Yesterday my friend had to take the day off of work because he showed up to work drunk and kept boozing until he finally collapsed and an ambulance was called. He had a BAC of .338. His job is somehow giving him another chance if he goes to rehab and his wife is as well. He has already said he doesn't think it will work.
The other is a relative whose drinking has been pretty well documented for years. She lives in the same small town as most of my family and everybody knows everybody. She showed up drunk to work about ten years ago and phone calls were made; her siblings attempted to confront her but she became irate and afterwards simply hid her drinking, to the point that she would only stay at family outings or other events for about 30 minutes before leaving to go home and drink. Now she's gotten to the point physically where she shows up late to work (she is middle management at a decent-sized company) because she is drinking in the morning, then has to leave early because she is physically shaking from a lack of drinking. The company has given her an official write-up, but also has a program available where they will provide detox and rehab for employees free-of-charge and offer something of a clean slate afterwards. Given the last attempt at confrontation, and the fact that they still do not have many consequences to hold over her, family is currently unsure of what to do.
If you think you have a problem, you probably do. Sobering up offers some great clarity and can really help you as you deal with all the stress. And not everybody gets so many chances. I live in a neighborhood filled with homeless drunks and they spend a lot of time complaining about how nobody ever gave them a chance, how the world was always against them and they never had an opportunity so it doesn't make any difference. I would guess a lot of those people, when faced with tough times, opted to keep drinking.
Fear is the biggest obstacle between alcoholism and sobriety.
I'm so glad to be sober. It's much more rewarding accomplishing goals and being safe than drinking two bottles of wine and drunk texting all night (not to mention the debilitating hangover the following day).
I imagine that sinking feeling in your stomach as you reread all your drunk texts the next morning was ALMOST as bad as a two-bottle hangover. Almost.
God, that's the worst.