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Love this thread.
I crossed the 1-year mark last month, and that was a really great feeling. I used to think that this would never be possible, but after the first 2-3 months or so I had a hunch that I would be in this for the long run. Because sobriety is awesome. Now I just have to make sure my confidence doesn't short circuit or something.
Making the necessary changes in my life has been the key for me, honestly. Adjusting my environment, the company that I keep, and the activities that I choose, made all the difference, and I'm so glad I was able to at one point just surrender, and give up the fight that I would always lose.
At that moment, it was all so clear to me: No more experimenting, no more negotiating, no more relying on willpower alone.
Just accept that I am an addict, and then start living my life again, without alcohol.
And as it turns out, I like life quite a bit.
Congrats, sparkiepop. The first 2-3 weeks were the hardest for me. I am now 11 months sober. Went to NA for the first 2 months and then just couldn't do it anymore. I am still friends with my sponsor though, and that has made a huge difference. Every once in a while I have rough days of temptation, but then I remember that I am married now and trying to start a family, and one TINY mistake will completely fuck that all up. So far it has been excellent motivation for me.Originally Posted by sparkiepop
Unfortunately, sobriety had the opposite effect on me and I gained almost 30 pounds this last year (but I've lost 10 of it by now).
That's awesome for both of you! I can't wait until I get to the one year mark.
Tonight I was looking at some 4th of July photos and saw a lot of my friends drinking and smoking and it triggered a massive craving. I wanted wine and cigarettes so fricking bad I nearly started crying. My gym was closed, the next AA meeting was in two hours and my neighborhood is too creepy to walk around alone at night so I did the next best thing and went to Target. Bought some craft supplies and I'm going to make some girly headbands.
Simon Rodia is known for constructing the fascinating Watts Towers here in CA. He was an alcoholic and decided to quit drinking. He grew bored and restless and started collecting scraps of various materials. He spent his nights building these gorgeous sculptures over a span of 33 years. They're amazing to look at in person. I want to visit the site again now to appreciate how the man channeled his energy and created this famous outsider art landmark instead of boozing. Hopefully my fucking headbands will land me a place in the art history books.
Clarity, focus, strength and courage. ::breathes::
Iyou.
Day 31 yesterday was okay - I went to the Hollywood Bowl to see Beethoven's 9th performed by the LA Philharmonic. Everyone surrounding us had nice bottles of wine and I could smell it. On the walk back home we kept passing liquor stores and all I could think about was popping in and grabbing a bottle, but I didn't. When I got home I remembered a friend left three bottles of Guinness in my refrigerator and I kept thinking, "One of those won't be bad." And then by vanity kicked in and beat that temptation to a pulp by pointing out that beer is nothing but calories and one bottle won't get me buzzed so why indulge? Three bottles would have meant I would have had to go to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and while I was there I would have bought a bottle of wine. Totally predictable of my behavior. So instead I got ready for bed and read a couple of chapters of book two in the "50 Shades of Grey" trilogy.
Day 32! Eyelashes and a Brazilian wax scheduled for today.
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i want to upvote your will power and strength but down vote you for reading 50 shades of grey. so conflicted.
Yes sparklepop, why would you make it so hard for yourself? That just sounds like a day to day battle you're going through, and you don't have to. From day one my home has been strictly an alcohol-free zone, that means everybody knows it, and everybody respects it, too. Kind of like how you wouldn't bring peanuts into a house where the resident has a dangerous peanut allergy.
People on this site love using peanut allergies to prove their point.
Mostly in reference to the day you joined AST.
Well played.
DAY 40.
It's no longer a struggle. The cravings are gone and I have my BuckyBalls to fiddle with when I get bored.
(Not to be confused with Bucky's balls.)
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I have 5 months today. I would have a year in about two weeks if not for a 3 day fuck up on vacation. Still... 6 months minus three days plus 5 more months isn't too shabby when you consider I hadn't been sober for longer than 8 hours since I was 20.
Hooray for Sparkie. I love sobriety for other people even more than I love it for myself. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOooOOOOooOOOoooOooo.
Strangely enough, my balls are magnetic as well. I'll never lose my keys.
Sparkiepop, everything you love is trying to kill you.
Congratulations to everyone in this thread for being strong people, keep it up and stay healthy.
Today I got into a situation with someone that hit a trigger. I had a stupid flash/daydream of getting a bottle for the weekend. Shook it off with a walk. I actually thought about Timbuktu's post and his 3 day fuck up during the walk.
Congrats everyone, and thanks to everyone posting here.
_________
Bees booze and bikes
Yeah, I still regret that relapse. It was 100% not worth it. When you quit drinking andneverything gets better, it's hard to enjoy drinking because you know exactly where it leads. I'm almost at my second 6 months, I really wish it was a year.
Someone said to me, and I experienced it to be true for me, that there is no bad situation I will make better by adding alcohol. You just wake up the next day with the same problem, plus a hangover and a deep sense of regret and shame. Life still happens to the sober, but you get to deal with it and move on instead of continually pushing the pause button.
Last edited by TimBuktu; July 26, 2012 at 8:15 PM.
I had a massive trigger yesterday and TimBuktu's relapse story and text messages and Krudler's support absolutely helped me beat it. I'm so glad I didn't cave. I played with my goddamn BuckyBalls instead.
I have to say, this thread really helps.
How's everyone else doing?
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Day 67.
My British boyfriend left today so I'm trying to keep busy and focused and not slip into major sadness. I'm saving the money I'd normally spend on wine for my next trip to London.
I managed to not drink at a Duran Duran show, though! That's maybe five (5) out of 120+ Duran Duran shows.
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