Sobriety.

[Jixby Phillips]

give me a close up of her tits

[c.Bacon]

I hit four years on Monday. Woo.

[MikThrontveit]

Wow, congratulations on both fronts.

[Americas Team]

Wait till booze hears about this. It is going to be so pissed. (Good job buddy.)

[suavepebble]

Now that my life has been turned upside down into shitty goddamned shit-shambles I'm ninety-percent sure I am going to give the full-sobriety lifestyle a chance. Which, of course, makes me feel like an even bigger asshole for coming in here earlier in the thread while drinking talking all of that "Ayyy, just handle it, it's fine if you can just do it twice a week."

The reason being: Although my personal affection for drinking booze had nothing to do with why everything over here is completely fucked, because I've generally never been able to drink more than two (three tops, and that has always been a bad week) days a week without feeling like I am going to die, I keep thinking about the DAY AFTER being boozed up. I'm starting to realize that although I've always been able to handle my booze and have never driven around drunk or felt the need to be aggressive or any of that -- the day after I'm drunk I'm never quite myself. I'm more tired than I should be; lazier; somewhat less intelligent in general... and man, when you add those days after up you start talking about a full two years of life where you weren't the guy you could have been. Does that make sense? I still think getting boozed up, for my body chemistry at least, is a wonderful gateway into a creative realm where anything is possible... but I've never really considered the day after. Those days after are really starting to haunt me. I'm starting to want those days after back at this point.

[Bucky_Sinister]

I have found sobriety to be more helpful to my creativity than booze ever was.

Holy crap How did I miss all of this? Haven't been on AST much this year.

Glad the book helped!

Once you're off it a year, I think the difference in your life will be so positive you don't want to go back on.

[crlygrl]

I'm proud of you, chief.

[Bucky_Sinister]

I mean this with all sincerity, I wouldn't have been able to do it without your guidance.

You're welcome! Once you feel solid in sobriety/recovery, help someone else, in a way that you can. I'm good at writing books so I did that. Find your way to help, even if it's just making coffee and setting up chairs. The whole thing works because we each do a little part.

I'm proud of you, buddy.

[drieux]

Hey, gang. I've been looking for somebody to discuss this with and I have a feeling you all might have some valuable viewpoints.

So, heading into the holiday season I found myself slipping into a depression and was medicating with booze. A few days before Christmas I took the partying way too far and, nasty details aside, ended up needing medical care. I vowed to stop drinking and partying in general and get some psychiatric care to get my shit together.

Now, I spent nearly the first 6 months of 2011 sober and enjoyed it, and today marks 3 weeks sober. In the wake of the "incident" I did attend one A.A. meeting but found myself mostly depressed by it, although I attended a meeting in the T-loin neighborhood of San Francisco and it's pretty depressing in general. However, I can say that maintaining my sobriety has not been a struggle, I actually enjoy it and am not finding myself battling cravings or an urge to get drunk again. I really find that this is a choice I WANT to make and I like the way I'm feeling and how my brain is working.

So, fast-forward to a visit to a psychiatrist. The way my insurance works, I have a therapist who I see once every few weeks, but she recommended a visit to a psychiatrist with a history in substance abuse treatment just to see what she thought regarding possible pills/prescriptions. And my insurance provider is somewhat notorious for throwing pills at everything. Within a few minutes of me entering her office she was prescribing me Prozac and Ambien and was also trying to talk me into the pill that severe alcoholics take that would make you violently ill if you consume any alcohol. I told her I was fairly certain that was unnecessary and she gave me a card and said if I ever thought otherwise to call her and she'd put in a prescription order at my nearest pharmacy.

That was two days ago; the pills are sitting in my medicine cabinet untouched thus far. As far as my general mood I'm happy, feeling ambitious and good about what lies ahead. I am finding I greatly prefer my sober self to my getting-wasted self and have no plans to drink in the future, although I know that this will be tested as time goes on. My brain has been firing on all cylinders the past week or so and without the depressive thoughts, which leads me to believe the alcohol was playing a big role in the depression as well. I also feel as though the Prozac means replacing one drug with another, the new one simply prescribed to me by a professional.

Any thoughts would be very helpful; I'm torn and not sure where to go with this.

[Bucky_Sinister]

Are you free Tuesday night? I'll take you to a meeting in SOMA I think you'll like. From there you could hook up with others for other nights. most meetings I go to are in Oakland.

there are as many types of meetings as there are bars. Just because you don't like one doesn't mean the one down the street is the same. AA is made up of drunks. So the meetings oddly replicate a bar in many social ways.

[SeanX3]

For the old depression, I've found this pretty helpful in the past few weeks...

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-N...dp/0380810336/

May have picked up the recommendation here—if so, thanks. Had it sitting in my Amazon cart for month. Only managed to get it to myself because I bought some Christmas stuff.

[Trinsky]

For the old depression, I've found this pretty helpful in the past few weeks...

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-N...dp/0380810336/

May have picked up the recommendation here—if so, thanks. Had it sitting in my Amazon cart for month. Only managed to get it to myself because I bought some Christmas stuff.

I haven't read this one but I read, and recommended in the Depression thread, his longer-but-probabaly-identical "The Feeling Good Handbook". It was invaluable for me.

I'm a fan of Dr. David Burns, and not just because we share a first and last name, thus aiding my goal of becoming the least googleable man alive.

[Travesty.]

I was told by a few people to buy a book called The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr. I just started reading it today, so I haven't gotten that far, but we'll see if it helps at all. I'm an everyday drinker, and have been for about 8-9 years. I may take a day off here or there, but for the most part, it's just about every day.

I wanna quit, and get more healthy and productive, so hopefully it's insightful. We'll see....

[drieux]

I read Carr's book on smoking and it was helpful, but a lot of it still comes down to your decision and willpower.

By "everyday drinker," do you mean that you drink to the point of drunk/wasted every night? If so, it is probably a good idea to meet with a doctor before just quitting cold turkey. At a recent visit to the doctor when I brought up that I had stopped drinking the first questions the doc asked were, "were/are you an everyday drinker?" and "have you had any signs of detoxing?" I was told the detox going cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker can be pretty devastating, so that might be worth checking out. I was not an everyday drinker and didn't have any signs, but the doc still gave me a card and told me to call if anything popped up.

[scamboogah]

What were the signs of detoxing?

[Harry B]

Curious about this and if you don't mind sharing what would a typical drinking day for ten years look like? Was it all day? How much would you drink? Did you have a routine?

[drieux]

If you quit drinking and expect to stay sober on willpower alone, I have a legitimate fear that you'll relapse. Living a sober life on willpower alone is not a long term solution. They even have a term for it, it's called "white knuckling". You're actively not drinking, you're not living sober. There's a huge difference. One is a constant battle to NOT drink, and it's not a positive long term solution for living.

Your concern is appreciated, and so far (four weeks sober today) getting back into regular therapy has been my primary asset. Digging into some of the old stuff going on in my head has been a huge help in realizing why booze played a big role in my social life the past ten years, why I was so comfortable resorting to it and why I relied on it to let everybody in my life know I wasn't doing so hot. But as the stuff comes out and I'm honest with the people in my life I'm - personally - finding that the urge to drink and get drunk just isn't there. I should have noted with my comments on Carr's book that I'm confident simply reading that book isn't going to make anybody sober on their own, but I've also seen multiple family members enter A.A., try to work the steps and then eventually relapse terribly and crash and burn in their own lives.

I'm not saying I'm special or that I don't need assistance, but I also don't feel as though I'm "white-knuckling" anything. A family history of depression and substance abuse - alcohol, food, drugs, whatever - is at play and the two decisions I'm proud of making in recent history is to realize that I've been slipping into the same pattern, and that I need to address it to make my life better. Stopping drinking is a piece of that puzzle. But I promise to get to a meeting - probably with Bucky - in the near future. The honest truth on that is that I've been spending my nights having a blast getting back into standup in a big way with all my facilities and brain working again. Having my brain unclouded by booze and drugs has been a revelation, and if stopping into a meeting now and then helps to keep that going then I will do it.

Sorry for being so preachy. I have a shiny new gift in my life, and I know what a struggle it is to actually stay sober. I want you guys to succeed.

No worries. I know many of us are glad you started this thread and it's been helpful for a lot of us. Congrats on six months and thanks again, sir.

[drieux]

Thanks. I think the reason most of my family members relapsed and eventually all quit trying to stop drinking was because they never addressed all the other issues that fed into the boozing, drug-taking, overeating, blah blah blah. Over time the drinking just helped to erase all their other stresses, like jobs, loved ones, social issues, etc. by making it so they could just stay home and get drunk all the time, which I now realize is just a way for them to ignore the world they don't know how to deal with and fast-forward to the time when they're not a part of it anymore. A book like Carr's doesn't help with any of that.

I hadn't considered that A.A. would help serve as a reminder of why I quit, but it certainly will now.

[Travesty.]

I read Carr's book on smoking and it was helpful, but a lot of it still comes down to your decision and willpower.

By "everyday drinker," do you mean that you drink to the point of drunk/wasted every night? If so, it is probably a good idea to meet with a doctor before just quitting cold turkey. At a recent visit to the doctor when I brought up that I had stopped drinking the first questions the doc asked were, "were/are you an everyday drinker?" and "have you had any signs of detoxing?" I was told the detox going cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker can be pretty devastating, so that might be worth checking out. I was not an everyday drinker and didn't have any signs, but the doc still gave me a card and told me to call if anything popped up.

I don't have health insurance right now, so I'm not going to go to a doctor unless it's an emergency.

[Bucky_Sinister]

Hey guys, here with my fortnightly AST check in.

Drew if you want to hit me up, get me at buckyofoakland at yahoo. Come with me to a meeting if you want.

Those underlying issues are what AA addresses. Steps 4-7 are about those, an internal change.

I do get therapy as well. I like them both.

Therapy, 12-Steppin, and Weightlifting are my trinity.

There's something very calming about swinging kettlebells, I don't want to derail this thread with that though.