Slight departure into Overseen While Passing, but I was driving by a church and on the marque:
"Don't think about it! Pray about it!"
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Slight departure into Overseen While Passing, but I was driving by a church and on the marque:
"Don't think about it! Pray about it!"
^Goofy crap on Church marquees should be its own thread.
"Free Trip to Heaven, Details Inside"
This doesn't exactly count, but...
Today I came home from a walk (we live in a valley thing where you have to walk up this ridiculously steep hill) and saw this girl in our apartment complex's parking lot sitting on a cement curb thing lighting a cigarette, all out of breath and tired. I saw her and said, "Yeah, I hear ya" as she wiped the sweat off her brow and she said "You just walk up and down that hill, too?"
"yep... not fun."
She lights her cigarette and says, "Yeah, especially when you are four months pregnant."
All I could muster up was an "Oh wow."
Then I opened my apartment door with my key, fed my cat and took a shower.
SATAN IS WRONGQuote:
Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge
WE WIN
LOL
I was on the L train coming home just now, and there was a man with apparently no shame whatsoever talking on his cell phone. He said (loud enough that the entire car could hear it):
"I drink so much, my dick doesn't even stay hard anymore."
At least ten people turned and looked at him.
Sounds like a @Humblebrag to me!Quote:
Originally Posted by davidd
Oh yeah. Obviously, we hooked up and partied til our dicks didn't work.Quote:
Originally Posted by BKMaynard
Standing in the chip aisle in a grocery store. A kid, maybe 6 is surveying the selection and finally starts jumping up to reach Doritos on the top shelf. His father comes down the aisle.
Father: No, Kyle..she said she wanted CHIPS not DORITOS!
Kyle: (exasperated) Please...explain to me what qualifies as a chip?
At a department store a while ago, a guy to the girl he's with:
"I mean, I've been called a genius before, and I've been called a freak, but never both."
Someone walking behind me. Not sure who he was talking to.
"It's not racist if the guy actually looks like Uncle Ben!"
My dad was watching "Fringe" in another room. I overheard him say, with 100% sincerity: "Why can't the two worlds just get along?"
Guy at a restaurant: "I was buying ramps before they were trendy."
Middle aged woman on her cell phone.
"She absolutely refuses to visit the new gravesite. She thinks because we moved it there's going to be some voodoo and evil spirits there. She thinks a ghost is going to follow her home."
Two guys in the hallway at work... caught the end of their conversation
Quote:
I don't know man.... if an eagle wanted to, it could fuck you up
at the TGI Friday's bar at the pittsburgh airport: two middle aged dudes who look like they're on a golf vacation and probably cheat on their wives with their secretaries.
dude one: "i don't eat anything green. it's bad for you."
dude two: "only eat it if it had hooves."
then they both laughed really, really hard.
Haha, they're going to die in their 50s at the very latest, jokes on them!
At a Souplantation. A man is ladeling soup into his bowl. His young son runs up to him, trying to excitedly tell him that he had just talked to an army guy (a uniformed soldier had just said "What's up, little man!" to him).
Dad: "Are you talking to me about soup?"
Son: "No?"
Dad: "Then why are you talking right now?"
I read that as an an 'uninformed' army guy and wondered how you knew he wasn't up on current events. On another note I feel like my recent acquisition of an iPod Nano has hindered my participation in this thread.
But you always have the best ones! Damn, that monk drop his biscuits!
Guy in line at Togo's sandwich shop:
"We saw Carrot Top over by Baja Fresh."