He means American Indian, and it's a specific reference to the way that character will say a native word and then explain it, similar to Johnny Carson.
Oh never mind.
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He means American Indian, and it's a specific reference to the way that character will say a native word and then explain it, similar to Johnny Carson.
Oh never mind.
I'm all confused. By American Indian you mean someone of American descent who was born in India, right?
"My mom is like, the only Chaldean I know who is obsessed with feet."
I did a double take that almost snapped my neck.
Overheard while walking through my Los Angeles neighborhood - through the trees - from a driveway.
Child to mother getting out of car.
"Mom. Where's the party?"
"What party?"
"The Party."
I kept walking...
Next week. There were bouncy castles in the backyard of the house next door and about a dozen other homes that one weekend.
I thought it was amusing the child was so party conscious and there were so many parties to go to.
Some girls studying for what sounds like a Mythology exam:
"soo.. pathos is when the author uses emotion to sway the reader, and ethos is when the author uses ethics to sway the reader.."
"what's ethics?"
"like... facts. no, logic. wait, what's ethics?"
"If there's Chex Mix at that party, I'm fuckin' leaving."
Heard at the grocery store I work at.
There's a snowstorm in Toronto today. On the streetcar I heard this exchange between two guys.
Guy 1: Hope that groundhog doesn't see his shadow today, eh?
Guy 2: No worries, that little fucker ain't seeing shit.
They're gonna have the groundhog whacked!!
At the library a guy was blasting rap music on the computer. He had head phones on but it was audible from across the room. A librarian came over.
Librarian: "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to turn that down."
Guy: "Huh?" He removes his headphones.
Librarian: "Sir, you need to turn the volume down."
Guy: "Why?"
Librarian: "Because it's too loud."
Guy: "Man, this is exactly like prison."
Librarian: "This is a library."
Guy turns down the volume "This is like prison."
Librarian gets on a walkie-talkie: "I'm going to need a police officer in the eight hundreds."
Guy: "Yep. Exactly like prison... exactly like prison..."
A retarded woman was sitting at a bus stop, she had a shaved head. She was saying hello really loud to everybody walking by.
An androgenous looking man came walking by.
Woman: "Excuse me! Excuse me! Are you a boy or a girl?"
The guy rolled his eyes and ignored her.
Woman: "Excuse me! Are you a boy? Are you a boy?"
Guy: "What the fuck do i look like?"
Woman [loudly and to herself or anybody within earshot]: "I still don't know what it is-- But it's mad..."
I'm sitting in starbucks listening to headphones. This is what I hear from the girl next to me between songs:
"So.. to be a teacher, first you have to pass what's called the MO Standards. You have to have three examples of how you can use technology, be they lesson plans, or whatever."
"So I don't even know why I'm going out with this guy, I don't anything about him. So he shows up to my door in shorts, no shirt, no shoes, and two kids in his Civic."
"So we're fooling around, and whatever. And he touches me and I just start bawling."
"He says he doesn't want anything because it's a holiday for girls, but for Valentine's I'm getting him a bundle of firewood."
Homophobe.Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitandox
On the train. Three hobos are sitting together talking. One of them is dressed in a woman's pant suit and he's wearing heels. The hobo next to him puts his arm around him for the amusement of the other hobo.
Hobo in woman's pantsuit: "Hey, you don't put your arm around me!"
Hobo: "Why not?"
Woman's pantsuit: "Because. You just don't do that. You should only put your arm around a woman. You don't put your arm around a man. You put your arm around a bitch!"
Hobo: "But you look like a bitch."
MICHAEL! MICHAEL! MICHAEL! MICHAEL I'M BY THE SWEDE SHOP! MICHAEL!
For nearly an hour last night at Ikea. There was nowhere in the warehouse you could go to escape it.
This was maybe a month ago, but I forgot about it until just now:
A city bus stop. A middle aged man and woman standing next to each other. Whether or not they know each other is unclear.
Man: You gonna go see Little Fockers?
Woman: (Horrified)...?.. No!
Made my month.
At the Super Bowl party I went to: "Oh you guys totally have to come over and meet my horse."
One college student female to another:
"Last night...do you remember? I was peeing next to you while you puked!"
Holy fuckcakes, this happens all the time. I hate those people.Quote:
Originally Posted by pissedpissedofferson
In TJ Maxx: "Dakota! Dakota! Come here Dakota! Dakota! Dakota!"
At Universal Studios: "Amber! Oh, I see you Amber! Amber, where are you? Amber! Oh, Amber!"
In the ladies room at a rest stop in NJ: "Nigel! Oh, Nigel what are you doing? You're so silly Nigel! Why are you standing on the sink, Nigel?* Nigel! Oh, Nigel."
* Because YOU LIFTED HIM UP THERE? He's two!
I was paying for a prescription at CVS. The pharmacy tech was talking to the guy behind me:
Pharm Tech: "Man, I started doing my taxes the other day. I need to get a kid. I wanted to put down that I had a kid, but I didn't want to get all audited and shit."
I was at panera once and a woman in line before me shouted "What! you don't have any motherfucking french fries, how can I eat a pickle without french fries?"
So I followed her and she taught me her way of life, and then with the help of my twin sister we orchestrated her meeting my father and falling and love with him, Nancy really is a wonderful woman.