Even though I enjoyed the movie a lot, this made me laugh harder than anything else. We were almost crying - actually, I think we were.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Bongers
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Even though I enjoyed the movie a lot, this made me laugh harder than anything else. We were almost crying - actually, I think we were.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Bongers
vBulletin YOU ARE A TRICKSTER
This sounds like a question for Siggers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith Whitener
This slut discussion reminds me of one I heard from a group of girls recently. I assume they were discussing Twilight.
Girl #1: I don't know, I'm not really into the whole vampire thing.
Girl #2: Oh my god, neither was I, but now I'm a total vampire slut.
A middle aged white guy on the phone while in line at Jack in the Box:
"I'll call you when I leave, I can't hear over all these Mexicans."
scene: two girls riding their bikes laughing about something one of them said and just so happen to pass this extremely drunk girl.
drunk girl: what're you laughing at?!
friend: oh no, we're not laughing at you just something my friend said
drunk girl: BICYCLETTE, BITCH!
I have to know: was that pronounced the French way ("bee-see-klet") or some other way?
A long time ago I was walking in to an L.A. bookstore. An old, Jewish couple was walking out. The man said to his wife, disapprovingly,"The JOY of Gay Sex? More like,'How to get a sore tuchas!"
That's what I need to know as well. I'm really hoping it was bee-see-klet.Quote:
Originally Posted by isoS
Also for the record, three times today I've said, "Oh No! He gon' call him a butthole!"
I laughed as well... I love that it's her first thought of what a boss would say.Quote:
Originally Posted by nathansmart
She spoke from personal experience.
I used to do this as a bit, but for seriously I overheard a trucker on a cb radio saying:
"Anyone out there wanna get together and bump dickheads? No gay shit, just bumpin' dickheads"
Girl to friend:"I don't think having a crush on someone and wanting to watch someone have sex with someone else are the same thing."
I overheard this at work: "My dad has Alzheimers and he keeps trying 'new things'..."
I reckon it tells a sad story.
Thanks for the downer. I think you've missed the point of this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hostile
I overheard a guy talking about how his friend was dying and how his friend's Dad was dying at the same time and how his friend hoped his Dad died first so his Dad didn't have to bury his son. And then I cried.
overheard at lunch today:
"did you see? he got a michael jordan tattoo on his back."
Whoa, we're taking a turn into depressionville here. I'm glad I don't have any razor blades in the house. I'll go watch Ran and listen to The Smiths.
leaving a concert, a frat boy type turns to his girlfriend and says, "shit, i'm sober now. this fucking sucks."
at a meet 'n greet with history professors and graduate students, asking one student how she first came up with her dissertation topic, she began with, "well, i'm friends with a few nicaraguan mercenaries."
Just saw Final Destination. A middle-aged Indian guy sitting by himself in front of me said "Hewwo?" everytime a phone rang, "Who let the dogs out? Woof woof," everytime he saw a dog, "Who let the cats out? Meow meow," everytime he saw a cat, and "Assalamu alaikum" everytime he saw a black guy.
I'm confused by the need to mention his ethnicity. Do most middle-aged Indians you meet act slightly retarded?Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitandox
Where did he imply generalization
Hm, I know I have overheard some funny things.
Unfortunately, all I can remember now is hearing a guy saying "I can't take it any more!" over and over and over in the Neurology ICU at NW Memorial Hospital.
NOT FUNNY
I like all the details. It paints a nice picture.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.
^ Yeah.
I also mentioned his gender and age, don't forget to bust my balls on those later, after you've apologized to the retarded.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.
isn't this the last final destination and shouldn't it be called "finally destinated?"
You're thinking of the movie, 'Network'.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jawa
Re: RabbOx, I just thought it was an odd detail to include at the beginning of the story in a way that seems to indicate that what follows is somehow less shocking, that's all. Like if I said, "I was behind this Norwegian guy at the store the other day, and OF COURSE he starts reading magazines...".
As Eugene Mirman said, 'That's not one of the pre-agreed upon stereotypes'.
In a university library computer lab about a week ago, two students walk in in mid conversation, as loud as if they were talking in a crowded bar. From the context they've just attended some manner of Pink Floyd themed event/party the day before.
#1 guy: Honestly I don't really know much about Pink Floyd or his music or if I'd like it.
#2 girl: I bet you'd like it, he's all 80's and shit, you like that stuff, he's from the 80's right?
A few weeks ago I'm at my parents' and they're organizing some of my recently deceased grandmother's things. My dad is going through her photographs in the next room and I over hear him say to himself "Damn, I look really gay in this picture". So of course I immediately go to see the picture in question. It's from 1974. He's wearing a powder blue tuxedo and has muttonchops. He's also standing next to my mother in her wedding dress.
When did mentioning race when telling a story become taboo? I think you're trying too hard to be PC.
I'm a mac.
More importantly, what race are you?Quote:
Originally Posted by TimBuktu
You're probably right. I didn't immediately think, 'That's racist', it was just one of those things that made me crane my head to the side for a second, like your dog does when it catches you masturbating.
Forget I said it. And you should probably forget the above part too.
Alex: I'm American.
In a thread about non sequitors, I felt like I was making it more shocking, not less.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.
"It's not your fault the joke was misunderstood. It's my fault." - D. LettermanQuote:
Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.
Hell yeah. This happened in Guelph... where the only drunk girls are francophoneQuote:
Originally Posted by Harry Bongers
I really didn't want to add to the racial insensitivity of this thread, but...
Just now, at the park, black woman walks in and loudly announces, in a "Wa-rriors" sing-song fashion: "Ni-ggahs! [to 4-year-old son] We the blackest thing in this park."
In this case, it's relevant to the story. Some blue-eyed & blonde white guy would have made this story crazy.Quote:
Originally Posted by isoS
Not to add fuel to the non-existent fire, there have been a handful of stories here in which certain details weren't relevant to what was heard. Personally, I just assume most everyone else on AST lives in places where they never see anybody except white 20-40 yr old skinny white dudes. So the fascination makes sense!
It's not taboo, there are just certain details that are unneccessay and warent consideration when they are deliberatly mentioned. And if it's unintentional, that itself is worthy of investigation. It's irrelevant to the story most of the time, since it's usually, "I was at the bank and this black guy..." which always makes me want them to provide a justification for mentioning race that is itself irrelevant and a stereotype. "Why does it matter that he was black?" "He was great at bass and had a huge dick." The question, then, is, "Why are you mentioning race and why do you continue to mention it?"Quote:
Originally Posted by TimBuktu
Woman in the park to her obviously mentally challenged kid;
"Destiny!! Come here and stop acting like an idiot!!".
(My favorite part is that someone had a kid with an intellectual handicap and then named it 'Destiny')
When I was in high school, an irritated black girl on a cell phone goes, "Don't be fuckin cussin at me, nigga. Shit..."
maybe that should've been your screen-name.
In a diner with muted TV sets, that Optimum Triple Play commercial with the pirates and mermaids comes on and a mom at the next table brightly says to her kids, "Oh look! It's that commercial we hate."
Couldn't agree more, lady.