Overheard in Passing

Overheard in one of those new-fangled co-op working office places:

"you are a dick without your cigarettes im gonna go buy you a pack right now you fucking asshole!"

Not overheard, but seen: a Sikh in Wal-Mart wearing an Abbott & Costello t-shirt. Awesome.

On NPR, a British guy talking about mass rapes somewhere in Africa or something.

"Of course, there's only so much we can do. We can't have police hiding behind every bush."

A couple of older rubbies on the street:

Rubby 1: Dintcha lose yer job for drinkin'?

Rubby 2: No I lost my job fer partyin!

Rubby 1: hah...hah....ha.....cough, achhhhh....achhhhh *spit*

Remembered another one from the weekend. Some moron tried to pass a streetcar and rammed into a parked car causing traffic chaos. As people were filing off the streetcar an obese guy with a fannypack gets off and is clearly pissed.

Obese guy: Fuck!! Fuck!!!!! Fuck!!!! I'm going to be late!! Fucking idiot!!!! I spilled my big gulp!!!! Fuck!!!!!

the fuck is a rubby

Yes, what is a rubby, like a rube?

Rubbies are like rummies, only instead of rum they drink rubbing alcohol.

Blind winos?

@MarkDriver

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KeithTalent

the fuck is a rubby

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A rubby is a wino minus the class.

We used to call them rummies.

Harry just has a sinus infection.

both from the same guy today:

"maaan i got a hard drive!"

"im only 16 and bitch is 23!"

Guy at work mid 50's to another guy mid 40s: I have a t-shirt at home that says "Over 50? I want a recount"

*braying laughter*

Me: *sigh*

The saddest part is that that guy is lying about having the shirt at home.

A few weeks ago at the table next to us, a family is having dinner. The following conversation goes on between two of the older men and a young dude. One of the older guys is the young guy's father.

Man 1: I heard you got into USC - when do you start? You must be excited.
Guy: In a couple of weeks from now. It's gonna be expensive. They only give scholarships to kids based on merit or financial need - not on whether you're a good student.
Dad: It's so expensive, I don't know what I pay taxes for!

Later...
Guy: I'm nervous because I'm not such a good student. If it wasn't for the special treatment my dad got me I don't think I would have gotten in.
Dad: Having your application handed in personally by the Dean of Admissions is NOT special treatment, son. You deserve to be there.

Neither of these were jokes.

"It's not a choice, it's a disease."

I tried to follow them to get some context, but was unsuccessful.

I was at lunch in the cafeteria and the two guys come and get in lone behind me as I'm drinking water,
Guy one. " so did you eat her pussy".
Me. " histerical laughter"
Guy two."what's your problem ( said to guy one then he walks away ashamed)

Not really overheard in passing but rather overheard while passing the TV. A news anchor was doing 9/11 memorial coverage and said:
"Each year we have this memorial as a reminder... to never forget"

Ha! (to the word combination, not the event)

Last Friday walking through the financial district there was a gaggle of young suits all dressed and dapper waiting for the light to change. An older, let's say less well-dressed guy walks past and yells:

"Ain't none of you motherfuckers never heard of no casual Friday!? Sheeeeit!"