One woman to another in a hallway at work, "Quote unquote flushable wipes..."
Would overheard schizophrenic rants be a different category? Because I heard a woman on the bus claim that Sandra Bullock stole her oxygen in the fourth dimension.
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One woman to another in a hallway at work, "Quote unquote flushable wipes..."
Would overheard schizophrenic rants be a different category? Because I heard a woman on the bus claim that Sandra Bullock stole her oxygen in the fourth dimension.
Back at my favourite diner in Pittsburgh.
Waitress 1: "oh she's shooting for the moon this time. Going to break her record. She was evicted 3 times last year and she's already got 2 this year."
waitress 2: "no she's got 3 already. And she's going to have 4. She's living next to two little babies. One fight with mitchell and they'll throw her out."
and a few minutes later:
"Mitchell said he was driving down the road with her mattress and you could smell it coming."
I'm so stealing that for a script.Quote:
Originally Posted by StrangeLight
Quoted because it's one of the best things ever on this forum. Also because I could see my niece playing this game.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Bongers
Well thanks. My favourite part is that a 3 year old named her doll Vivica.
They are having a pledge drive on the local NPR station, and the people on air were saying, "You don't have to drive a volvos or drink white wine to enjoy NPR." Then one of them said, "That's so true. I was just flying here from Los Angeles, and I was talking to two beautiful girls who at the airport, and when I told them I worked at NPR they got very excited, and said they loved listening to NPR. And I asked them what they did, and they said that they were backup singers for Christina Aguilera." Then they chuckled about that for a while.
This is the read into things you overhear as an indication of the hidden class structure of America thread, right?
Another robotamist:
Quote:
Subject: FW: Remove Spouse
Please remove my spouse off my web page. We were divorced 12-15-2008.
No replacement. Just leave blank.
Thank you
Berliner, there's nothing hidden about the class structure in America.
Not exactly overheard, as I was a participant in this exchange, but it was certainly in passing:
Setting:
Walking down the street in Baltimore (in a not-so-great, but not that sketchy area). Girlfriend and I walk past a bar. One of its former inhabitants is maybe 50 feet in front of us, a paunchy graying longhair wearing business casual clothing and dragging wheeled luggage behind him. He looks over his shoulder and sees us approaching and kind of waits for us to catch up to him.
The Exchange:
Longhair: Hey, how are you guys doing!
Us: Good, good. How are you?
Longhair: Old and fat.
I could not have been more pleased with that response.
Woman in my neighborhood yelling at drunk guy on street at 2am:
Woman: "I have kids trying to sleep!!"
Drunk guy: "Your kids are having SEX!"
Woman: "All right, I'm calling the cops."
Just got back from Jamaica with my company for a sales bonus vacation and team-building retreat. I overhear this from a new, young kid clearly trying to impress a senior V.P:
Kid: I'm personally excited about the restructuring in the department. It should remove us from silos so we can create more integrated sales.....oh hey, a donkey!
At a bar. Some underaged kids next to me:
dude 1: so they took the cover of tiger woods PGA tour 2010 and they put Crosby and ovechkin on it and wrote "crochkin PGA tour 2010" on it.
Dude 2: .... Why would they do that?
Dude 1: you know, 'cause it's funny. Like they're tiger woods.
Silence.
I know this is the second time I'm violating "overheard" but...
Joe (my college roommate):You should get on J-date.
Me:Yeah? I'm not Jewish.
Joe: Eh.
Me:One of those tall, Aryan jews you don't hear enough about...
Joe:Just say... I've only hooked up with Jewish chicks since I've been single.
Me: Ok.
Joe: Dude. They're totally into it.
BBoM and I went to Universal Studios Orlando in Feb, and for some reason they sell big turkey legs all over the park like at the Ren Faire. At one of these stands we overhead this hipster dude say to his co-worker in an amusing (but legit) gay voice, "I don't know about YOU, but *I* like MY turkey legs HOT!"
One of the announcers for the Mecum Auto auction show on one of the HD channels;
"If this car doesn't get your heart racing, you should just sell all your George Michaels (sic) & Wham CDs and start over..."
Pretty much every aspect of my 17 year old cousin's Facebook page is hilarious to me, but this one her friend posted at 2 AM is a "Best Of."
i went into ur kitchen for lemonade because im thirsty as fuck and ur dad was in there just chillin with no pants on. shiiiiiiiiiittttt
I imagine your cousin's friend is Raaaaaaaandy?
If she knows a better way to chill I'd like to hear it.Quote:
Originally Posted by dorothy mantooth
I don't get this quote. Is the announcer saying if you don't like the auto auction show you're gay? And if so, why would you sell your gay CDs? If you're going to be gay you're going to need your gay CDs, everyone knows that.Quote:
Originally Posted by scamboogah
Maybe he wants them to start over and get being a dude right in his eyes, which includes not being gay but being aroused by car parts.