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Damn.
Something I oversaw in passing yesterday, while waiting for the tram:
A homeless dude is sitting on a bench, dry-shaving. Beggar walks up to him waving her "I want money for this and that" note. Dude just looks at her, gives off a puzzled smile and shakes his head, but I could hear his mind going "You gotta be kidding me".
Overheard In Pissing:Quote:
Originally Posted by yumitree
Guy Far Back In Bathroom Line: All right men, one shake is all ya need LET'S GO!
I used to work at a library and overheard a lot of stupid/crazy stuff. These are two that came to mind:
Two teenagers pick up a copy of the movie Incubus (the one in Esperanto with William Shatner) and look at the cover, which has a pentagram on it.
1: What is that?
2: Uh, I think it's a Star of David.
A man and a woman walk out of the library, talking about something. I don't know what about, but it's obvious the conversation is tense. They get to the parking lot and go in opposite directions. After they get to their cars and are about 75 feet apart, the woman starts yelling.
Woman: Why don't you go back to New Jersey!
Man: Why don't you go fuck yourself!
Woman: Go back to New Jeresy!
Man: Fuck you!
Woman: Go back to New Jersey!
Man: Fuck you!
The woman gets in her car and speeds over to where the man is and yells at him some more. Unfortunately I couldn't hear this part though.
Kids on line at CVS:
Kid 1: "Only the peppermint ones work. Get the white ones."
Kid 2: "What soda?"
Kid 1: "Diet Coke. Only Diet Coke."
Kid 1: "We're doing this in YOUR driveway."
Kid 2: "Yeah, yeah."
The part you couldn't hear was:Quote:
Originally Posted by uber-h
Woman: Go back to New Jersey!
Man: Fuck you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartbunny
that's more like it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ASR
middle aged black guy leaving the supermarket:
"I'm bout ta have a Beer and Krispy Kreme Donut with this bitch!!"
These comics are based on over-heard things:
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/idkLEWIS/269048
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/idkLEWIS/271985
Yumi, The Freshmaker.
I'm starting to think I should re-title this thread "Black People Say The Darndest Things."
The only sentence I've ever heard in Detroit, as I stopped to get gas:
homeless man to another homeless man: "At least my momma didn't give birth to no faggot, nigga."
Turns out, that's actually Detroit's slogan, so it's not that crazy
One black guy to another outside a Starbucks;
"I'm going to go in here and get a cup of coffee before the meeting. Can I get you anything?"
"No thanks."
Walked past this conversation on the weekend. My neighbours kids -- two sisters and another girl, between 8 and 10.
The youngest one, indignantly:
"I do too know the language! Weiner....dink....penis...."
Got as far away from that discussion as quickly as possible.
via @emilyvolman on Twitter:
One lady to another @ Dollywood: "I had to take a flyswatter to the grandchild this mornin'."
Two weeks ago at the Library.
[cell phone rings]
"Hello. Who dis?... Oh shit yo where you been?... Yo man I'm dating a bitch who drives a car now!
[librarian gives him a dirty look]
Hey man I can't talk right now I'm at the lie-berry, but yo i'll hit you up later and my home girl can drive us wherever you want."
Two white guys mid 20's
1:"Man we look really young."
2:"Maybe we'll get some young pussy."
Two friends and I were leaving a grocery store - we were baked as hell and our arms were full of Doritos and HoHo's. As we were happily wasting our change on gumballs, a gentleman was entering the store with his 2 year old daughter. The automatic doors open - you guessed it - automatically. The exchange:
Kid: (Incredulously) Daddy - how did that door open?
Father: (Resigned and monotone) It's magic, sweetie.
On the alphabet crawl/marquee/whatever thing on the first comic, there's no "N"Quote:
Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips
Overheard from a group of junior high kids visiting my college campus 10 years ago...
"I'm gonna have his baby, so then he'll HAVE to love me."
It's also missing A through E.Quote:
Originally Posted by Trial
Man #1: Not sure I follow.
Man #2: Just go.. UP!