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My friend is working on a play at Georgetown University. A few weeks ago I went to see it, then after went to The Tombs (a bar).
Bro- pink polo collar popped, medium length hair which was pulled on top of his head into a Samurai/Pebbles ponytail. Talking the bartender's ear off.
"I was like, lady, you should be happy someone under the age of 45 is talking to you! I was like 5 L.I. Teas deep at this point, though."
An older drunk man was getting on the bus, and after he pissed himself, he asked everyone, "Does anyone want to buy a bicycle?"
Did he really say 'L.I. Teas' instead of 'Long Island Teas'? That's fucking amazing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Umlaut
Best abbreviation I've heard since Saturday N.L.
My question, EXACTLY. Similarly, I once heard a guy at CVS excitedly alert his buddy to the "$2 'zonas, bro!" (He was referring to tall boys of Arizona Iced Tea.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.
"Nah, man, don't be listening to Lady Gaga. Listen to who Lady Gaga is listening to."
I've heard somebody refer to a stick of deodorant as "some deo"Quote:
Originally Posted by dorothy mantooth
In line at the grocery store the other day (with my two-year old son, no less), I hear the following from the two late-teen girls in front of me.
"I mean, I'll probably try cocaine someday."
And the one for which I had to stifle laughter...
(looking at tabloid) "I always knew Hayden Panettiere would be a superstar."
today - homeless guys / crust dudes walking down the street in portland.
1- "alright, let's go get some pills."
2- "but... i don't like pills!"
1- "i like pills..."
Woman standing in line, on a cell phone:
"No...no....NO!...CALM DOWN!...SHE'S IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!"
She then hung up and said, to no one in particular:
"Great, now I gotta go buy fuckin' diapers."
"So the bagels with the cream cheese, they're usually um... they're kinda opened..."
"No, the butter ones are. Cut in half."
"Right but the cream cheese ones have that like, open things. So I got this bagel, you know, the cream cheese one."
"Right, the open one."
"No. See, that's what I thought. The cream cheese ones are kinda, like this... and you can tell. This one looked like that, so I bought it."
"Cream cheese?"
"Yeah. You know how they look. So, I get home and there I am, eating a big old buttered bagel!"
Cell phone rings, guy in suit checks caller id: "Oh, this fuckin' joker." Answers, "Hello, Rabbi!"
(They talk about some forms that need to be filled out so the guy can have his wedding in the rabbi's temple.)
BATMAN: "alright, let's go get some pills."
JOKER: "but... i don't like pills!"
BATMAN: "i like pills..."
These are my favorite threads of all time.
"The lack of plungers in this building is RIDICULOUS"
"I got a great joke about Heath Ledger that I'm doing on stage" - July 2009
and my all time favorite overheard moment
"I talked about great songwriters. I did Dylan and Lennon of course, but I completey blanked and forgot about (PUTS ON FINGERLESS GLOVES) Billy Joel"
aguy in my gym class in high school would always ask if some one had some deo for his B.O.Quote:
Originally Posted by Trial
In late 2007 there was a lot of Obama/Clinton/McCain/Guliani merchindise at the front of the Borders where I worked. Two stupid teenagers perused it and had this exchange:
1: Who's that? (referring to Obama)
2: I think he's running for President.
1: Why, becuase he's all black and shit?
this one is a bit of an oldie, but its prob my fav ever "I don't get why people like bratwursts so much, they just taste like a giant sausage to me"
A young lady a long time ago on a bus in Burlingame:
"And I was like damn girl, you hella pregnant."
Back in probably... shit, I dunno... 1999 maybe?-- (this ?-- represents me asking a question in the middle of a continuing conversational sentence) I saw a couple of 30-somethings with that scared, religious look in the eye that tells you their being in a giant mall is a special and slightly scary day (we were at the legendary Gurnee Mills outlet mall in beautiful Gurnee, Illinois). The guy was bored while his girlfriend looked at stuff in Sharper Image or whateverthehell store they had there that had sharper image type nonsense in it (fuckin lights that creep up on you and whatever)...
The guy rubs up against her and says something like "I want it baby, let's go home..."
"SHHHHHH, are you CRAZY?"
I am staring at this and she looks at me and I wink at her.
"OH MY GOD! BILL!!!!"
I agree that's amazing, but how do you know he meant "L.I. Teas?" He might've been saying "L.I.T.s," which is significantly less amazing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.
Well, the fact that they're actually called Long Island Iced Teas -- L.I.I.T.s -- still makes it relatively amazing.
PS: This thread is like that Aerosmith song: it's amazing. :kiss:
This one wasn't overheard in passing, as much as it was an entire conversation happening at the table next to me in a Denver hotel restaurant when I was eating alone on a business trip about ten years ago. These two middle-aged black women were the only other two people in the place, and I had nothing to do but listen to them. I missed just enough of the beginning of their conversation to have no context apart from the fact that this was a woman who was complaining to her friend about the many shortcomings of her previous boyfriend. I still can't believe how perfectly the important information was slowly revealed to me.
She talked about how immature and petulant this guy was, how he was essentially a child, how he refused to accept help from anybody, how he wouldn't use anyone else's phone or let anyone help him use his. There was a lot more detail given that I can't remember, but I do recall not being able to wrap my head around what this person's problem must have been, or why anyone would date him, when finally she said:
"...and he hates being called 'Mr. Wonder'. It's Stevie. Just Stevie."