Whose Joke is This?

[Cameron]

I think there was a whole thread on here about an underrated comic who had a routine about being last place in the Olympics, but I can't find it through the AST search or a billion different Google variations. Any ideas?

Sounds like Franklin Ajaye.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xe4...lympics-di_fun

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

Who was that little short lady in the 90's who did the bit about her grandma making Jello and saying "What would you kids do without me?" and she was like, "Yeah, we'd be crying... one cup HOT? One cup COLD? Oh, why did Grandma have to DIE??"

Elvira Kurt?

[scamboogah]

All I remember is the comedian said "Women Schmemen" in some context or another, and then talked about an audience member who was offended by the word "Schmemen." Fred Stoller, perhaps? 90% sure I heard it on Dr. Katz.

This sounds like the sequel to the sardonically irreverent, "Dibbick Schmibbick, I said Ham".

[SoSure]

Who has a bit about not liking it when people start talking about their dreams, because you're prefacing a long story with, "Hey, want to hear something that never happened?"

[SeanX3]

…something about Prius drivers driving their Priuses off a cliff, directly into a landfill.

Any iders?

[Kurt]

Who has a bit about not liking it when people start talking about their dreams, because you're prefacing a long story with, "Hey, want to hear something that never happened?"

I'm pretty sure that's Greg Behrendt, but I have no link to back it up. I just think I remember him saying that on Never Not Funny or something.

[SoSure]

Three days after I posted that, Kulap Vilaysack was a guest on "You Made it Weird," and she and Pete were talking about dreams. He brought the joke up and said it's a Jim Gaffigan bit. Can't find a clip for that, either, but it definitely fits with the tone of some other stuff he does.

[Jouster]

Definitely Greg Behrendt (not sure if Gaffigan has a similar bit or not). You can hear it on his CD Uncool, on the track "Stories Are a Gift," and probably other places.

[simpgeek]

In a bit about credit card debt: "'Everywhere you want to be,' that's not a slogan, that's a threat."

And another: "A four year old is like a tiny Don Rickles: 'You're fat, you're old, I'm outta here'."

[JayRunner]

The second is Mike Birbiglia from Invite Them Up. He says he wasn't a class clown cause class clowns we're cruel, like "You're fat, you're gay, I'M OUTTA HERE!"

[J.B.]

Don't think it was a joke - just some casual probably-in-a-podcast conversation about wanting to write the movie Black Jaws. "The shark is black."

[extrafacelol]

I'm trying to remember a bit that involved the comic saying something like "If you're a kid and you think you're gay, you better be DAMN SURE before you tell anyone." I have no other information except that I probably saw it on Comedy Central around 1999-2001 or so. I keep remembering it as Denis Leary but I'm pretty sure it wasn't.

Thanks in advance.

[Fan of Hilarity]

Ant? jk.

[nickyp123]

Premise was there are no new ghosts. They're all from the 1800s or whatever.