Lawyer Jokes

[Rynunes]

I have an assignment due today in my legal writing class- I have to bring in a lawyer joke. My professor assumes we will just google some lawyer jokes and I don't want to do that. However, I am having writers block and can't come up with an original one. So, I would love to hear what you guys got! Bring it.

If I pick your joke, tell it in class AND it gets a good laugh, I will give you an e-hug!

Here's my one and only lawyer joke, that's not even about lawyers:

Being in law school is a lot like committing suicide, but without the fun of learning the truth.




I know.
Ryan

(thanks for the help)

[aenemaTron]

What's the hardest thing about law school for dogs?

Spoiler:  

Passing the Bark Exam.

Where do wealthy lawyers park their cars?

Spoiler:  

The Lexus Nexus.

What did the judge say when the solid-body guitar made an objection?

Spoiler:  

Sustained.

[JustinGoff]

To paraphrase Grampa Simpson, here's one that is not so much funny as it is long.

A lawyer calls a plumber to fix a toilet. The plumber comes over and fixes the toilet in a matter of minutes and then hands the lawyer a bill for a few hundred dollars.

Flabbergasted, the lawyer says: "THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A COUPLE MINUTES WORK!?! I'm a lawyer and I don't even make that kind of money."

The plumber then counters: "ya know, I used to say the same thing when I was practicing law."

========================

Here's a quicker one:

What's the problem with lawyer jokes?

Spoiler:  

Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes

[Itslikeimsayin]

What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Spoiler:  

Half of this week's homework assignment!

[Adult Ed]

What did I offer the court during the appeal of a judgment against me?

Spoiler:  

Supersedeez nuts!

[Berliner]

Maybe you should try more observational jokes, like "You know how lawyers have babies named Sid?"

[tatanjinx]

so a lawyer walked into a bar and he said "what's the difference between jelly and jam?"

[ASR]

Send this queston to the Q&A section of Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.

[jon]

Lawyer?

[crimestick]

Punchline: "food court"

Can't think of a setup

[KeithTalent]

Alberto Gonzales

see what I did

[TacoSmith]

What's a lawyer?

Nothing, what's a lawyer with you?!

[smartbunny]

You guys are little to no help at all.

As am I. But just sayin.

[ASR]

Why did the lawyer cross the road?

Spoiler:  

Lawyers!

[jesterobobman]

To jog memory before you commit all the way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcaVSTsYyOI

[youtube]bcaVSTsYyOI[/youtube]

[tuggboat]

Lawyer? I hardly know her.