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Thread: Lawyer Jokes

  1. #1

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    Lawyer Jokes

    I have an assignment due today in my legal writing class- I have to bring in a lawyer joke. My professor assumes we will just google some lawyer jokes and I don't want to do that. However, I am having writers block and can't come up with an original one. So, I would love to hear what you guys got! Bring it.

    If I pick your joke, tell it in class AND it gets a good laugh, I will give you an e-hug!

    Here's my one and only lawyer joke, that's not even about lawyers:

    Being in law school is a lot like committing suicide, but without the fun of learning the truth.




    I know.
    Ryan

    (thanks for the help)
    ___________________________________________
    http://ryancancomedy.blogspot.com



  2. #2
    aenemaTron's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    What's the hardest thing about law school for dogs?
    Spoiler:  


    Where do wealthy lawyers park their cars?
    Spoiler:  


    What did the judge say when the solid-body guitar made an objection?
    Spoiler:  



  3. #3
    JustinGoff's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    To paraphrase Grampa Simpson, here's one that is not so much funny as it is long.

    A lawyer calls a plumber to fix a toilet. The plumber comes over and fixes the toilet in a matter of minutes and then hands the lawyer a bill for a few hundred dollars.

    Flabbergasted, the lawyer says: "THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A COUPLE MINUTES WORK!?! I'm a lawyer and I don't even make that kind of money."

    The plumber then counters: "ya know, I used to say the same thing when I was practicing law."

    ========================

    Here's a quicker one:

    What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
    Spoiler:  



  4. #4
    Super Moderator Itslikeimsayin's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    Spoiler:  



  5. #5
    Adult Ed's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    What did I offer the court during the appeal of a judgment against me?

    Spoiler:  



  6. #6
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Maybe you should try more observational jokes, like "You know how lawyers have babies named Sid?"



  7. #7
    tatanjinx's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    so a lawyer walked into a bar and he said "what's the difference between jelly and jam?"



  8. #8
    ASR
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Send this queston to the Q&A section of Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.



  9. #9
    jon
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Lawyer?



  10. #10
    crimestick's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Punchline: "food court"

    Can't think of a setup



  11. #11
    KeithTalent's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Alberto Gonzales

    see what I did



  12. #12
    TacoSmith's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    What's a lawyer?

    Nothing, what's a lawyer with you?!



  13. #13
    smartbunny's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    You guys are little to no help at all.

    As am I. But just sayin.



  14. #14
    ASR
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Why did the lawyer cross the road?

    Spoiler:  



  15. #15
    jesterobobman's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    To jog memory before you commit all the way

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcaVSTsYyOI

    [youtube]bcaVSTsYyOI[/youtube]



  16. #16
    tuggboat's Avatar
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    Re: Lawyer Jokes

    Lawyer? I hardly know her.



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